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How to Win Friends & Influence People (Audio CD)
by Dale Carnegie
| Category:
Personal improvement, Personal effectiveness, Success, Self help |
| Market price: ¥ 508.00
MSL price:
¥ 478.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Timeless, life-changing and most valuable advice on life skills. Recommended to everyone as a guide to live with. |
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AllReviews |
1 2   | Total 2 pages 12 items |
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Joan Price (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. |
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Emil Schuffhausen (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
Some cynics might suggest that the world has changed too much since the 1930s for this book to still be relevant. Certainly, we live in a faster-paced, harder-edged time. But human nature hasn't really changed much in thousands of years. Many of the basic truths Carnegie offers concerning human interaction are still valid.
Truth be told, a little "old-fashioned" courtesy, consideration, diligence, honesty, trustworthiness, neatness, and fairness are not just "Gomer Pyle" values, but values that would be a breath of fresh air in most corporate offices. These values - rooted out of a sincere desire to successfully serve others - will also catapult the practitioner to a level of success and prosperity. Not to mention the satisfaction and joy of a job well-done.
Working with people successfully is a skill - it can be taught and mastered. In every office or work situation, we will encounter difficult or uncooperative people. (And even good people have bad days.) Carnegie's principles can help you not only win an argument, but win a person. In other words, not just the short-term fix of bullying, but the long-term fix of friendship and teamwork.
Even if you disagree with some of the conclusions of the book, or with what I've written here, you owe it to yourself to read this book simply because of the amazing impact that it has made since its publication. I'm betting you won't be sorry for the time you invest in reading it. |
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Sarah Crane (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
I can't begin to express how much good this book would do if we would all apply its principles. This book isn't the kabbala or cryptic writings understood only by mystics or specialists. (I'm in no way disparaging codified language or writings that give way to multiple, and often contradictory, interpretations 0 that type of writing has its time and place. This book, however, does not use that mode for its inspiration.) This book is enlightenment for the masses. How to Win Friends and Influence Others is straightforward, written clearly in easy-to-understand language.
I'm preaching to the choir when I say that I certainly have violated many of this book's principles time and time again b/f I knew any better. For example, I blush to think of the times I have preferred to talk endlessly about my own concerns, problems, and interests without reciprocating the skill of attentive listening to my friends and acquaintances. And who among us couldn't stand to cultivate better conflict-resolution skills or experience some personal growth? I like that Dale shared with his readers times when he got it all wrong and how he learned from his mistakes. This admission makes it easier for the rest of us to acknowledge when we got it all wrong. Dale's book suggests ways to subtly and diplomatically inspire cooperation and a change of attitude without (unwittingly) stirring up resentment and putting the other person on the defensive. Dale warned about the dangers of our need to be in the right and to prove to others that they are in the wrong. Mother Teresa likewise counseled, "Don't worry about being right. Just be kind." (Dale regretted that once upon a time he considered writing a book about argumentation - he later believed avoiding conflict and refraining from criticism are better options, and when conflict and criticism can't be avoided, there are guidelines and courtesies to follow that will help the other person feel less threatened and more receptive to your point of view.)
This book exhorts us to treat others kindly while acknowledging their importance. I think that Dale couldn't have been more on the money when he stated that all of us have an intense need to feel important, and it's how we go about feeling important that makes all the difference.
One of my favorite moments in the book is when Dale quoted a French writer who said, "I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime."
This book has certainly enlightened me about the fine art of interpersonal intelligence. I aspire to consistently put these theories and principles into practice. |
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Meg (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
Let me just say that as an 18 year old girl, when I was first introduced to this book, I thought it was a joke. My mom told me that it had been her favorite book when she was my age. I started laughing hysterically. "Your favorite book was some stupid self-help book? That bore? You have to be kidding me" I said. I couldn't help but think my mom must have been a loser.
But for some reason or another- I must have been pretty bored- I decided to give the book a try. I figured I would read the first page, immediately find it horrible and put it down. But from the minute I started reading the book, I knew it was no normal self-help book. I was enraptured! Dale Carnegie didn't just explain human thought and ambition truly; he also did it with fascinating anecdotes and historical stories that I just ate up.
When I started telling my friends about it, they were pretty skeptical as well. I was so in love with the book that I would try to explain my favorite lessons to anyone that would listen.
They became pretty interested as well, and I hope to buy each of them this book as a graduation gift.
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a book that is so wonderful because it really does contain amazing advice and insight into human behavior- helping one deal better not only with other people, but also helping one understand themselves and the human mind better.
What a great book! It will always be a favorite and I would suggest it to everyone under the sun!
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Andrew Parodi (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
I won't waste your time with a rundown of what "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is about. With over 400 reviews on Amazon, with over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you all get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here's a succinct description: in 1930s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person's highest ideals, remembering the other person's name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person's interests, allowing the other to save face, by "throwing down a challenge," etc., you can make a friend out of just about anyone.
The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was written in the 1930's and intended primarily as a companion book to Dale Carnegie's classes on how to be a good salesman. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i.e., in relationships that are not expected to be deep and/or long-lasting. I wouldn't recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit "plastic."
Also, there is one major point that I think needs to be remembered, but unfortunately is nowhere to be found in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." During my research of Dale Carnegie's techniques, I came across what I believe may be the only biography available about him: "Dale Carnegie: The Man Who Influenced Millions" by Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin. This book reveals many interesting things, such as the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of his left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others' names, often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of "How to Win Friends" was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie's techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were some people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either needed to divorce such people, "knock them down," or sue them in court.
Why is that chapter absent from this book, you ask? Well, Dale Carnegie was in the middle of writing this chapter when he was offered a trip to Europe, and rather than complete this last chapter he decided to take the trip. The uncompleted book was sent off to publishers, and Carnegie shipped off to Europe.
Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin say that given the optimistic tone of the rest of "How to Win Friends," the European trip was perhaps the better choice. Reconciling the the unwritten chapter with the rest of this optimistic book would've been nearly impossible, they say.
Anyway, I think that this unpublished chapter is important to keep in mind. I had to learn the hard way that the unpublished chapter is very true. There are some people with whom it is impossible to get along. When you meet up with such people, and believe me you will, don't think that you've failed the Carnegie techniques. Instead, remind yourself that you are experiencing exactly what Carnegie describes in that pragmatic, unpublished chapter. And then quickly move on to the nicer people!
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
Ever since reading this book several times, I don't know how I got through real-world social situations without it. It's a great book that stresses the important truth that people are emotional and not always logical. It shows that disagreements really can be resolved for the better by looking at things from another's perspective. Further, I loved how the author takes you right into the world of '20 and 30s and the unique characteristics of the time period like referring to experiences, in the first person, right after the 'Great War' and getting a friendly greeting from President Teddy Roosevelt. These intriguing tid-bits do not push away the relevance of the material but amazingly re-enforce it with the notion that you will begin to reveal to yourself how similarly people act, think, emotionally connect in that time period and ours. Then, you will begin to see why these teachings work naturally with our everyday social experiences. |
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Evan (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
Dale Carnegie wrote a fantastic book. He writes about success principles that he and others have used to become leaders and build cooperative relationships. I can tell a difference in how people respond to me since trying to use these principles. People smile back and are much friendlier. One reason I think this book is so successful is because the concepts are very simple. For the most part, all of his principles can be found under, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If one tries to understand how their actions are going to make others feel before they act, they have gone a long way to winning friends and influencing people. Another thing that I like about Carnegie's book is that it is all based on sincerity. All of the advice he gives provide win/win situations. Nobody loses; he does not try to manipulate or deceive people. I believe Carnegie had an honest interest in people and wanted everyone to achieve to their highest ability. The principles in this book helps one help others as well as help oneself. Truly a fantastic book. |
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Brandon Michael (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
Dale Carnegie is one of the authors I have admired for so long. There are numerous reasons why this book is a classic one. He deeply believes that in every person there is good and you can approach it. Of course, there are many negative people who don't like this book because they see everything in black and white. Carnegie on the other side advocates a really delicate, positive and humane approach to everyone around you. It comes very close to "treat the others as you want them to treat you". I am sure that if everyone read and apply the principles in this wonderful book, the world will be a better place. I am sure that you will be pleased as well with his talent to really understand what drives people. Some of the key and basic motivators he discussed are sex and being important. His viewpoint is very close to the one of the bestselling author of scientifically guaranteed male multiple orgasms and ultimate sex. After all genius things are usually simple. Carnegie explores the human nature and common hot buttons together with the reader and gives you tools to manage and push them at your will with the help of numerous examples. I liked that the book is practical, easy and fun to read, and most of all that it delivers great value. I can not say the same for many other books. Definitely get a copy especially if you are a "good" person and prefer to treat people with respect and dignity. |
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Terrence Quaqiulo (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-19 00:00>
I just finished facilitating a 4 day workshop on influence skills. Like many of the participants I encounter in my workshops, I secretly hope for a proven, repeatable formula for influencing people. Of course none exists. The good news - Carnegie and others have shown us that influencing others is not rocket science - the bad news - it takes a lot of energy, patience, and selflessness to build effective relationships.
Awareness of self and awareness of others are two guiding principles. Forget about utilitarian motives. Influence is not about getting our way. Influence is an art. The heart of Carnegie's work is about getting excited about others. Carnegie encourages us to see others as wonderful tapestries adorned with luxurious threads of experiences. At this point techniques cease to be techniques and begin to become an authentic part of how we interact with each other.
One of the reviews below shares some history about Carnegie mentioning a chapter that never made it into the book. I am paraphrasing - but the author of this review makes an important point about this missing chapter. Supposedly, Carnegie in this last chapter acknowledges the people we cannot reach. There will always be some people with whom we cannot build satisfying relationships with or influence. That's okay. No one can bat a 1000 and we have to learn how to accept our limitations and the limitations of others. Carnegie is a great coach and cheerleader. He gives us concrete practices and tools and then encourages us to discover the excitement of building stronger relationships. |
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Michael (MSL quote), France
<2007-01-19 00:00>
First off, this is an outstanding book. one of the best I've read and I read quite a lot. The advice is really good and I especially like the real world examples he gives based on his own experiences and the experiences of those in his classes. The examples really make you think about how you interact with people. In reading this book several experiences from my past have come to mind and I now know how I could have better handled the situation. In one case, a member of my team was not following the rules set by the team. He was a lone ranger, doing whatever he wanted. So I got really fed up with it (he was hindering the progress of the team) and went to see him. I asked him if he was following the process and he said yes but it was obvious he wasn't and was lying. So I called him on his lie and told him not only was he not following the rules but he was lying as well! I really let him have it. The result? He still didn't follow it and was even worse!!! Now I know lots of ways I could have improved the situation and motivated him.
Another thing I liked about the book is how he told stories of famous people like FDR, Charles Schwab, etc. Those stories were the best. The stories from history like with Lincoln were very interesting as well.
At the same time, you can tell that society has really evolved from "back then" to present day. I do think that constantly being nice and treating people well means you will get taken advantage of from time to time but I think overall we're still going to come out ahead with these techniques. If only everyone would use them! |
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