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How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (平装)
by Dale Carnegie
| Category:
Personal improvement, Personal effectiveness, Success, Self help |
| Market price: ¥ 108.00
MSL price:
¥ 98.00
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| Stock:
In Stock |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
A great book that proves that common sense is not common. |
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AllReviews |
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Cam Le (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-04 00:00>
I've been plagued by social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia since I was a child. My former psychiatrist suggested that it began when I watched 'Charlotte's Web' in the second grade and kept on watching it several times a year even as I was well into my 20s. Aligning myself with several enigmatic gurus was no help. When I followed their teaching of permanently disconnecting myself from family and friends and throwing all of my possessions into the sea, I was always left stranded on the beach with no means of transportation back to my "home" and no way of calling my "family" or "friends" for help. That's when I wandered into the public library and saw How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. Dale Carnegie offers some of the best advice on conquering worry! After reading the first chapter, I already felt at ease. Carnegie writes, "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today." How sad and true! I vowed to live in the now, in which I am a cashier at Wendy's and fortunate enough to still live with my parents, instead of dreaming my life away, hoping that in the future I will be a glamorous jazzercise instructor with a husband and a family of my own. Later on in the book, Carnegie says that dwelling on the past is not good either. So I forgave and forgot that Patterson girl in the fourth grade who got me two weeks of detention when she told the teacher that it was me who had underlined all the dirty parts in the school library's Judy Blume books. Reading How to Stop Worrying and Start Living changed my life. As a result, I've given up my dreams of glory and accepted my role as a moderately intelligent human being and I've never been more worry-free! |
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A British reader (MSL quote), UK
<2007-01-04 00:00>
I bought this book back when I was sixteen years old and in sixth-form college. I was having a hard time and felt depressed and scared about my future. I was very, very worried about exams and what other people thought about me and this took a mental and psychical toll. It sounds too good to be true but I read and implemented the advice in How To Stop Worrying and Start Living and my life changed. I was able to control my worrying and live a balanced life at last. I still reread the book regularly and especially when I need a boost. As Dale Carnegie says, this book should be used as a workbook for life; it is not the kind of book that you should only read once.
There are so many reasons why I love this book. To start with, it really works. But it is also easy to read and simple to understand, entertaining and utterly charming. It isn't New Agey and includes plenty of wonderful examples of normal (and well-known) people. It is a breath of fresh air in comparison to many modern self-help books. Dale Carnegie is so humble, kind and understanding. Every page is packed with down-to-earth easy to do advice. I also liked the fact that the book includes a chapter on religion and how praying to God can help you in life. However, if you aren't a believer then still get this book, as the author gives advice aimed at absolutely everybody. The book also covers just about every possible problem I can think of; depression, lack of self-esteem, death of a loved one, work issues, financial / health concerns etc.
Overall, I rate this book at highly as it is possible to. I am certainly not implying that it is a `magic pill', but if you read it and follow the advice then I truly believe that your life will change for the better. From time to time I still feel worried, but this book always provides me with the practical and caring advice I need to get myself back on track again. |
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Sara Crane (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-04 00:00>
If How to Win Friends was about interpersonal skills, this book is about intrapersonal skills. People have criticized Dale for stating the obvious, but hey, as my mother says, "common sense isn't common." Most of these ideas run counter to human nature's way of responding to conflict and criticism (defensiveness, blame, guilt, self-righteousness, etc). Instead, we are invited to replace these typical responses with non-threatening admissions of having been in the wrong if indeed we were in the wrong or water-off-a-duck's back/unshaken poise if the criticism was unjust, unwarranted, and unreasonable. To be honest, I often haven't thought about things the way Dale states them much less practiced his principles with consistency. Self-improvement in terms of handling my feelings is still a long-term goal of mine. I've made good progress, but I have a ways to go.
I think this book is very good, but I think How to Win Friends & Influence People is the better of the two books. Also, Dale can come off as preachy at times. I think he was a wonderful, considerate person with the best of intentions, so I hesitate reproaching this "guru" of emotional intelligence.
I did enjoy listening to stories about personal transformation. People who had hit rock bottom were able to rebound from their falls. John D. Rockefeller turned his life around, much in the style of "Silas Marner," and no longer fretted about losing money. Thanks to his Rockefeller Foundation, countless good causes have had ample funding. I also like the story Dale shares about J. C. Penney. Penney felt that even his intimate loved ones believed the worst about him after he was implicated with the stock market crash of 1929. He became so worried that his health deteriorated. Then one day he stumbled into a chapel as the choir was singing, "God will take care of you." He recognized the truth of those words and within 20 minutes, snapped out of his despair.
Dale really revered Abraham Lincoln, and so do I, based on Dale's account of him. Abraham Lincoln would select men who disliked him if he thought those men were the best qualified for a given position. Someone asked Lincoln why he would consort with men who freely criticize him. Lincoln responded, "You have more of a feeling of personal resentment than I have. Perhaps I have too little of it. But I never thought it paid." He also said, "A man doesn't have the time to spend half his life in quarrels. If any man ceases to attack me, I never remember the past against him." Wow! Those are the words of an enlightened and secure human being.
I think that my problem has been that I took too personally the criticism of others (both just and unjust). I'm not a vindictive person; however, I hate feeling threatened, and my self-esteem is vulnerable. It was the feeling of self-doubt that I hated - not really the person attacking me. I made the mistake of interchanging a person for his or her mistakes at my expense. If you no longer feel threatened by criticism and believe in yourself and your potential no matter what, then I think forgiveness is easy and natural. Dale warned that we pay too dearly for grudges with our lost peace of mind.
I like how this book among others can give us the tools to completely overhaul our unhelpful (or rather hurtful) ways of thinking about things. How to Stop Worrying revisits platitudes and shows how they are less trite sayings than distilled truths. Turn lemons into lemonade. Count your blessings. Don't cry over spilled milk. He also talked about putting a "stop-loss order" on resentments, having our thoughts work for instead of against us, and how knowledge isn't power until it is applied. Forgive and forget our enemies. No person can humiliate or disturb us; a person really humiliates him/herself when s/he attempts to humiliate others. Or Eleanor Roosevelt's insight that no one can make us feel inferior without our permission. "If possible, no animosity should be felt for anyone." Edith Cabbal: "I realize now that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone." "Everynight I forgive everything & everybody." "Forget yourself by becoming interested in others." "Serving others is a sure way to forget our own troubles." "We hurt ourselves with thoughts of revenge." "Sympathy and compassion are the best antidotes to enmity."
The helpful quotes go on and on, and any of the above could become a person's mantra, depending on what issues s/he is working on. Ben Franklin had the great idea of working on one of his eight severest character flaws every week. He would alternate what vice he was trying to eliminate or at least, ameliorate. He would self-reflect upon his improvement or lack thereof. I've decided to imitate good old Ben and try this for myself.
I am grateful for Dale Carnegie and other helpful emotional intelligence gurus (Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choprah, and David Burns come to mind) for spelling out tools for emotional health and personal transformation. We all have great potential. As Dale said, we all live well within our means in terms of intellectual and emotional intelligence. Financially, it's great advice to live within our means, but we pay dearly to do so intellectually or emotionally.
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