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Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives (平装)
by Laura Schlessinger
| Category:
Behavior, Relationship, Self improvement, Self help |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Laura's statements are sometimes painful, but always right on target. An empowering book a female can read to help take control of her behavior and choices. |
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AllReviews |
1 2   | Total 2 pages 12 items |
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Amy (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I really enjoyed reading this book after a recommendation on a messageboard after sharing my experience. I didn't know what I was feeling and experiencing till I read this book. It was like it was writing about my life! Well, suffice to say, it helped me to open my eyes. I heard about the controversy surrounding this author and I understand why. She is being very realistic and sensible about realities of life. Most of the things in the book I have an agreement about, while some others it didn't really elaborate much. It depends where you are at this point in your life. But do read it if you're at crossroads (like I). But if you're totally happy with your relationship, then maybe it's not for you. |
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Maddi Hausmann (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a radio powerhouse. Her talk show was heard coast to coast in the US and Canada, on as many as 470 radio stations. At one point, over 10,000 callers per hour tried her 1-800-DRLAURA number in an attempt to get some of her tough-talking advice. This book, her first, was written just as The Dr. Laura Show had gone national, and it shared her pragmatic cut-through-the-bull viewpoint with a wider audience.
What a difference a few years make. Schlessinger became a Conservative Jew, then an Orthodox Jew, and began following the same talking points heard on Rush Limbaugh and in WorldNetDaily. Today, the Dr. Laura show is on the decline. Fewer than 250 stations still carry it, and she is absent in several large markets such as New York, Chicago, and Baltimore. Her ill-fated attempt to move onto television was an utter failure, both critically and in ratings. Many controversies brewed, where she would attack yet another group and then be forced by her corporate bosses to issue a clenched-teeth denial. So it's interesting to reread this work from 1994, when Schlessinger's star was still rising. The first of many books by the onetime Queen of Rightwing Radio, it remains the her best both for what it is and what it is not.
Let's keep one thing clear: her radio show is still on the air because it remains compelling. Agree with her or not, the callers' problems are fascinating. While her advice may be spot on or completely off-target, it's hard to switch her off. But Schlessinger has difficulty maintaining radio's improvisational tone in an advice book, because the problems were carefully selected, rather than snagged from several random calls. And despite her having the luxury to choose the issues supporting her points, her humor often falls flat. ("Is a Woman just a Wo- Wo- Wo- on a man?" is one of her chapter headings. They get worse.) This is more forgivable during a live broadcast, yet it is her quickness on air that made her show worth listening to.
Ten Stupid Things' strength is in how Schlessinger described the many ways her callers made themselves unhappy. We all know women who feel they are nothing without a man (Stupid Attachment), or behaved like a fool while dating (Stupid Courtship), or who believed their love could conquer a man's rotten behavior (Stupid Devotion). The anecdotes are on target, as compelling as the calls that made it on air during the glory days of Dr. Laura.
Another reason this is her best book is for the mistakes it doesn't make. Written before Schlessinger's violent swing to the political right, her only agenda here (other than promoting her show) is helping her female audience avoid bad relationships that impact future generations. Refreshingly free of neocon rhetoric, it lacks later books' attacks on working moms, second wives, or teenaged girls with bared midriffs. Secular lifestyles are not the poison in the Wellspring of Family Values, as Schlessinger will inform us subsequently. Nor are we assaulted by her moral superiority via her religious restraint (look ahead to How Could You Do That?! and The Ten Commandments if you find yourself in need of abasement). This one of her few books that isn't a minefield of unintentional humor to those of us who read Vickie L. Bane's unauthorized biography, which was unfortunately published before the 1998 naked pictures on the Internet incident.
This book reminds me of why her show was so fresh and exciting in 1995: a feminist who had practical reasons why living together wasn't in women's best interest (this book has a whole chapter on Stupid Cohabitation); a modern, educated advisor who could convince callers that sex outside marriage hurts women more than men (Stupid Passion); a concerned radio show host who had the interests of kids foremost (Stupid Conception and Stupid Subjugation). The mix of modern science and traditional values was different, and Schlessinger's straightforward approach made it work far more effectively than the later religious rants and browbeating.
It's a pity that today's show no longer reads like this book (although Ten Stupid Things was never as good as the 1995-96 radio show). While the book was quite successful, and the show became successful, then Schlessinger choked on her own hubris. Unfortunately she never realized her errors and returned to her earlier roots, which is why you will not find a work this good among her other books.
Today Schlessinger still broadcasts her three-hours-a-day, five-days- a-week program, but has announced she is no longer an Orthodox Jew (what kind of a Jew she is she doesn't wish to inform us, but it's the kind who appears live on Yom Kippur). Read Ten Stupid Things not only for her good advice, but as a window to a kinder, gentler Laura Schlessinger. |
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Robert (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Call me stupid, but this book made sense. As a pastor I have come to realize that pastoral counseling is not one of my strengths. My concept of pastoral counseling is to get a 2 x 4 and smack someone on the side of the head and tells them to get a life- perhaps, that is my this book appealed to me. Dr. Laura’s straightforward approach made perfect sense to me. Perhaps that is my so many woman reviews have panned this book at being cold, insensitive, or uncompassionate.
But after twenty years of pastoral counseling, I still am dumbfounded how some women sabotage their lives. Case in point. During premarital counseling sessions, I always try to determine whether there is drug or alcohol abuse, especially in second or third marriages where children are involved. More than once, I have been told that there is no abuse where I have suspected there was only to have the woman back in my office three to six months later crying her eyes out and blowing snot into her hanky and telling me about her husband’s drug or alcohol abuse. What is partially frustrating for me is that invariable these women knew before their marriage that the problem existed, but believed that love would solve the problem.
Ok, so I am another insensitive white male who does not understand woman. So be it. But I think that Dr. Laura is right.
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Maria Lee (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Dr. Laura gives it to you straight in this no nonsense book. While most people wouldn't have the guts to be this brutally honest and constructively critical, Dr. Laura goes where no one else dares to go. So many other self help books are too concerned about being politically correct and candy coating topics, that in the end you feel like you don't gain anything. But whether you like her or not, everything she says is actually true. This book will remind you of times in your life (and it's happened to all of us) when a family member or friend tells us something we don't want to hear but deep down inside we actually know is true. Dr. Laura is also a very logical person, so much of her opinions and advice is not hard to follow. I recommend this book to anybody in search of learning more about themselves and how they can improve themselves. |
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Natalia (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I like how it motivates women to be the best they can be and urges them to form an identity of their own without a man. It's empowering because it focuses on what we can change ourselves - get a good career, education... because it's always harder or impossible to change someone else. Many good points and perspectives.
One thing she emphasizes is that women settle for whoever will take us. She claims that we latch onto anyone who wants us with no regard to whether or not we want him. I don't agree with her. I stress out over men sometimes, but only the ones I want. If I didn't want a guy, why would I even care? Many good looking, ambitious/successful, nice, funny men like me- and I go out with them to see if I like them, or maybe the passion will develop, cause they're such good catches. But guess what? I don't. It's rare for me to find someone to have passion/chemistry with, I don't think I settle, and I'm not going to dump someone over a few faults like she implies. Liking someone is not something you can put down on paper as in a Pros/Cons list. It's not so easy. You either do or you don't, and "he's a jerk, get away!"
This book is about protecting women's feelings by implying that you don't want the guy anyway, work on yourself. Not such a bad idea cause then you have more to offer.
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This is an excellent book for anyone willing to listen to the intelligent arguments Dr. Laura makes. More women should listen! This book is used as an educational tool in the juvenile facility where I volunteer. |
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Rebecca Johnson (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
You have to ask yourself one question. Why do authors who are divorced write all the marriage and self-help books? Well in five words: "They learned from the experience."
If you want advice from a woman who has "been there/done that" then Dr. Laura is a good source of wisdom. She has fallen, picked herself up and moved on. Girlfriend, this is one woman who isn't going to take it anymore. She looks at the facts, pushes aside the romantic ideals and makes you face the reality of your situation. Personally, I kinda like her "in your face truth attitude." It is refreshing to finally hear what no one else will tell you. Dr. Laura's hope is that people will learn to live more balanced lives.
She takes a look at our unrealistic drives and primal needs. She says the "ultimate stupidity" is withholding from yourself the respect you deserve. She shows how women often tolerate obnoxious male behaviors in order to avoid loneliness, self-assertiveness, and self-sufficiency.
The lovely contents include chapters on Attachment, Courtship, Devotion, Passion, Cohabitation, Expectations, Conception, Subjugation, Helpless- ness and Forgiving. While most of this book seems to be for women who are dating, every woman should read this book.
"It is your job as a woman, as a person, to become as fully realized as you can by having dreams, forging a purpose, building an identity, having courage, and making commitments to things outside of yourself. In so doing, you take a more active role in the quality of your own life so that other people-friends, spouses, children-share in your growth rather than become responsible for it. You'll feel super. And you'll feel really womanly- as opposed to babyish or girlish-perhaps for the first time." ~Dr. Laura
She answers the following questions:
- Why hasn't he called? (Short Answer: Are you sure you want him to?)
- Do you really want to be with someone who is not giving you back what you're giving?
- Are you a volunteer hostage?
- How do I teach a man to respect me?
- What is true Intimacy?
- What is sexual addiction?
- Should you hang in there or leave?
- What is the difference between Sexual Passion and Mature Love?
- Who is really responsible for birth control?
Even Dr. Laura is willing to admit there is no life without pain. "The experience and the survival of pain are often the price of growth."
What if you can bypass some of this pain?
Would that be worth the price of this book?
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Phil Christensen (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Here are the first three of the ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives, according to Dr. Laura: 1) they seek their identity in stupid attachments, 2) are panicky to pour themselves into courtship with a lunkhead who will accept them, and 3) suffer stupid devotion for the sake of a wretch.
I've been in the "people business" for 20 years, and I'm convinced that Dr. Laura's right. I used to wince at her brutal approach to truth, but no more; she's not just talking to one person on the other end of the line. Dr. Laura is skilled at discerning the exact bad decisions that have lead to a particular problem, then using that example to warn another half-million listeners to avoid this same pitfall. That's what she does in this book. She catalogues 10 of most the dangerous - and stupid - decisions women make and explains how to avoid these. Any 10-year-old girl can understand these principles, but these things need to be said aloud. It's not a new book, but it's timeless truth.
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Ruth (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I have avoided Dr. Laura, her books, and her radio program for many years, fearing she would say something about me I didn't want to recognize. Ten Stupid Things did just that. How sad it is that women have such low self-esteem (though Gangi in her book explains this more as the lack of self-love) that they feel they have to settle for whatever and, more importantly, whomever pays any attention to them. If we would think twice, look in the mirror and truly love the person looking back, maybe we could lower the count from 10 to 1 or 2. |
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An Amerrican reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This book talks about how wrong it is to trick a man to have a baby so that a man will be stuck to you and your baby. I do not need to read a book to know it is a wrong thing to do. After that I stopped reading any farther. What a waist of my time. I am a financially secure Japanese software engineer. Maybe this book is catered toward a woman with no job, no game, a type of women who sit around and watch these TV talk shows all day. The contents of this book are about the same level of these day time talk shows. I bought this book with high expectation. I was looking forwared to learning something. I was very dissapointed. |
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1 2 | Total 2 pages 12 items |
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