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Relationship Rescue (平装)
by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.
| Category:
Relationship, Self improvement, Self help |
| Market price: ¥ 168.00
MSL price:
¥ 158.00
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| Stock:
In Stock |
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
This upbeating bestselling book challenges you to re-think your perception of marriage, what to expect out of yourself, your partner and what it really means to be married. |
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AllReviews |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
We are a group of five college seniors from Villanova University who have spent a semester researching and reviewing best selling self-help books on the subject of relationships. We evaluated five texts after reviewing academic literature specifically on the topics of: commitment, trust, conflict, verbal communication, & intimacy. In order to make you a more informed consumer, we hope to provide you with an educated insider view of Relationship Rescue by Dr Phillip C. McGraw.
McGraw's intent is to "rescue" relationships, and get partners to reconnect by first evaluating their individual selves. He challenges readers to address the truths about themselves, and get in touch with their core of consciousness. When the individual can recognize his or her inner strength, and eliminate "bad spirits," he or she has the power to lift the partner, and get the most out of the relationship. While there are partner exercises in the end, this book for the most part is geared toward the individual. McGraw provides a "7-step process for reconnecting with one's partner", which included a series of personal inventories, journal entries, and self-evaluation. By performing these activities, and engaging in a 14-day process of self-disclosure and relationship evaluation with one's partner, one will grow toward a better relationship.
In our evaluation of five major topics, we found the following in Relationship Rescue:
Commitment - In the chapter entitled, "Reconnecting with Your Partner," McGraw addresses the personal dedication component of commitment found in academic research. This basically says that commitment includes the individual's desire to improve the relationship. He also stressed the importance of physical activity in finding commitment.
Trust - While McGraw did not address trust directly, there are some connections to be made to ideas presented in academic research. It seems to be generally understood that the disposition of the individual greatly effects trust, and an overall personal deceptive nature will negatively affect the relationship. McGraw's goal is to get the individual to remove these negative feelings. Also, a great deal of the book revolves around self-disclosure, which is imperative to developing trust. However, this all depends on how the individual approaches the exercises in the book.
Conflict - In regards to this topic, McGraw touches on the idea that conflict is inevitable. We found this to be an overwhelming theme in research conducted on the topic. Conflict can be constructive if it is done properly, and partners remain in control. He gives rules for "fighting with your partner" which focused on the environment (physical and mental) that the disagreement is taking place in. He also focused on managing one's differences, because there are some that cannot be fixed, and therefore must be embraced.
Verbal Communication Skills- McGraw makes it clear that this is not a book that addresses communication theories. Therefore, it was not his intention to lay out specific communication skills. Instead, he focuses on inner attitudes. While a great deal of the exercises involve partner communication, McGraw does not address the verbal skills necessary for effective communication.
Intimacy - In this book, McGraw affirms the idea found in research that positive regard in the sense of acceptance and confirmation is necessary within a relationship. He also points out that the presence of affection does not make a difference in the relationship unless it is communicated to the partner. McGraw motivates the reader to do, and not just say what he or she feels to achieve intimacy. In regards to intimacy, the emphasis on self-disclosure throughout the book supported what we found in our research as well. In general, McGraw promotes individual behaviors that lead to love and increase intimacy.
Relationship Rescue is best for the topic of Intimacy. |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I was having a world of problems in my marriage and I did not know where to look. After being inspired by some of the things Dr. Phil says on TV, I decided to read this book. Boy am I glad I did! Dr. Phil has this ability to take it right to you and this is what I needed at the time. His words punched right through my walls of denial and forced me to make a real objective re-evaluation of myself and my relationship. It did wonders for me. After having this rejuvenating experience, I decided to explore and learn more about relationships and personal development. I have now found a more advanced book on relationships and personal development that is absolutely excellent! It is called The Ever-Transcending Spirit by Toru Sato. It is more theoretical but an excellent read if you are one of those people who "gets it!" It has taken me one step closer to inner peace and happiness. |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I'd recommend this book to people who are married, but better yet to those who are thinking of getting married. I wish I had this book BEFORE I got married because it would have allowed me to see some important things. God definitely directed me to this book. It's down to earth, cut to the chase therapy. Phil doesn't give you any sob stories or foolish psychological jargons. The book makes you look at you. We tend to point our fingers at the other person so much, that many times we forget to look at ourselves. The book makes you TOTALLY examine yourself till about three-fourths through the book...then you begin to focus on the other person. That's where healing really begins.
Don't share this book with your partner in the beginning. I know my husband didn't want anything to do with the book. He hates books like this. Little did he know, it was because of the book that made me heal and change. Phil even talks about how begin to talk about what you learned to your partner.
Don't waste your money on hours of marriage couseling... this book is all you need. The self-assessment tests that are included are awesome. I saw things I never thought about. I am not a reader, but I couldn't put this book down. If your relatioship is empty or has lost it's spark or has fallen on hard ground...this is the book to bring life back if both of you really want it. |
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Robin (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This was the best book I ever read on relationships. Whether you are in a bad relationship or good one, this book gives you insight into your own defects as a partner. It also helps you define your assets as well. I bought this book when I got engaged and it really did help me learn about me and what I value in relationships. It is a must read if you seriously want to be a better partner and have a good relationship! Dr. Phil never disappoints! |
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Jekill (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
As a physician I have recommended this book to many of my patients whose relationships were in trouble. I feel Dr. Phil's approach is right on: you have to work on yourself first. Most people who feel their relationship is doomed tell me, "Well, my partner won't listen to me...", or "he/she isn't willing to do the work...". He has you look and work on yourself FIRST then involves you in seven steps. The couples I have recommended this book to have found it very helpful. There have been a few cases I have seen where the partner never participated in the process and my patients happily ended up moving on with their lives with the aid of this book.For those people who cannot afford or do not have access to therapy this book/program is wonderful (actually even if you do!). He "tells it like it is", and drills the point home that we are each responsible for the state our relationship and life are in (excepting cases of abuse). As Dr. Phil says you have to "get with the program" and work on yourself and relationship "until". A great self-help book. |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This is by far the best resource I have ever seen for doing focused relationship repair/building work. I initially picked up this book at a friend's house and found the cover to be enticing. Dr. Phil was blowing apart some long-held myths about relationships and I was intrigued. By the time I got ahold of the book my own relationship was needing some serious attention and I drove in with both feet. I doubt my fiance will ever even see this book and it really doesn't matter. I'm a hypnotherapist and I work a lot with people who are looking for change in their lives. I understand the power of taking responsibility for my side of the street and the difference that can make. I'm a little more than halfway through the book and things have improved dramatically between my fiance and me already. I am learning more about myself than I ever imagined I would, and what I am learning will be useful for me going forward in many areas of my life, not just the romantic love relationship that I'm in. I rarely endorse this kind of self-help, but this book is excellent. |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Dr. Phil's self-congratulatultory writing style aside, the actual nuts and bolts of this book are exceptionally insightful and helpful. It will force you into a phase of honest appraisal of you and your partner. It's not a "quick fix", nor should it be. It requires that you actually read it and do the exercises within to find its reward. But personally, I think it may very well be one of the best self-help type of books out there. I also purchased the accompanying Workbook but think you can buy yourself a ruled notebook to the same effect. |
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John (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Dr. McGraw has written an excellent book that I often recommend to my couples' who can't get unstuck from blaming. There is very little in it that I disagree with. Its basic premise is that if you want to change your relation- ship, stop pointing the finger at your partner and look at the three fingers pointing back at you. My major concern is that the tone in which the book is written is, ironically, very blaming and lecturing. It's kind of: "If you want your relationship to get better you better listen to me right now." If your relationship is in desparate straights and you can overlook his tone, the information and ideas he communicates are really quite helpful. |
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An Belgian reader (MSL quote), Belgium
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I bought this book after being dumped. Not with the idea of getting back together with my ex, but to really understand what went wrong, or more accurately what I did wrong. This book helped me. Not only his myths about relationships helped me to understand what real relationships are about. But also the different attitudes men and women can have or behave that destroys a good relationship. I could find myself in several ones. And also what positive attitudes you should have in a relationship, is something you should write down and stick on your fridge's door. So a great book even if your single and you wondered what went wrong. I wished I knew these things before my relationship. We all think, I guess, that love is easy and as long that we love one and other things will work out, but they don't. If you don't know what your doing wrong, how can you know how to fix it? This book helps a lot here. It makes you understand that you too should learn what relationships are and how they work. |
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Andrea Wood (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I absolutely recommend this book. It has helped so much. The philosophy that you can change the dynamic of your relationship only by changing your behavior which will thereby change your partner’s responses, is the best way to go. Take responsibility that something in your behavior is affecting the relationship. Yes, of course something in your partner's behavior is affecting it, too. But most people don't take responsibility for their end. It's easier to see other people's flaws than our own. That's where the genius of this book comes in. Once you are willing to take responsibility, Relationship Rescue gives you the tools to evaluate, become aware, and exchange your unconstructive behavior for constructive.
Dr. Phil talks about deal-breakers, which are actions committed by partners who do not deserve to have you work on the relationship - instead it's important to GET OUT. Those would be physical or sexual abuse, or drug or alcohol addiction. As long as your partner does not have the deal-breaker characteristics, I highly recommend this book.
The orderly lists of 10 relationship myths, 10 characteristics of bad spirit (behavior), and 10 relationship values (values you must live by) as well as Dr. Phil's no-nonsense, cut to the chase wording, makes Relationship Rescue easy to read and easy to learn, if you are willing and determined to be the best partner you can be, and thereby have the best relationship you can have.
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