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1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (平装)
by Thomas W. Phelan
| Category:
Parenting, Discipline |
| Market price: ¥ 168.00
MSL price:
¥ 158.00
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| Stock:
In Stock |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
A popular therapist's recommendation on disciplinary approaches, Tom Phelan's now well known system promises to be easy and effective for most parents. |
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AllReviews |
  1 2 Total 2 pages 12 items |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-14 00:00>
After recently deciding to leave my job and stay home with my 3 year old, this book has helped me keep my sanity! The freind who recommended 1-2-3 Magic put it best in saying that it is important that parents have control of the home - not toddlers! This book is really helping me take back that control of my home and has greatly improved my relationship with my toddler as a result. The author does a great job of providing specific age appropriate examples of how to implement his suggestions and I love the guidance on how to take emotion out of the disciplinary process. Phelan's methods have helped me resolve issues with my son consistantly rather than having to go through a mental list of all the different methods of discipline I used before - many of which were just as unpleasant for me as they were for my child. As a result, I often don't have to get to the step of taking action because poor behavior stops on the count of 1 or 2. The other thing I love about this book is that most of the teachers at my son's pre school have read it and can help reinforce the principals while he is there. It has been helpful to have my mother and husband read the book as well so that we are all consistent.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-14 00:00>
My stomach churned reading the first few chapters of this book, with its hostile, anti-child attitude. It assumes maliciousness on the part of children whose behavior the parents don't like, and assumes that the parents' needs and desires always, always are legitmate whereas the child's are not. To me, this is sheer arrogance. Sometimes we parents say "no" and on second thought, realize there's a compromise that honors our needs and wishes as well as that of our kids. Don't we want to train kids to think creatively about win/win solutions? Frankly, I think the overall attitude just sets you up for totally unnecessary power struggles.
This is an especially lousy parenting approach if your child has special needs. My child has sensory integration dysfunction. He is not being manipulative or defiant when he has to put on a new pair of shoes, he is genuinely freaked out by the change in routine and the unfamiliar sensation of the new shoes (tactile sensitivity). Were I to use the 1-2-3 magic method, I'd be locked in a continual power struggle with a child whose "quirks" stem from legitimate neurological problems, scolding and punishing him for things he cannot help. Spanking is not an option, ethically or even practically - he has an altered sense of pain.
Far, far better parenting books I recommend for children with special needs, or who are intense/spirited: Kids, Parents and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka; Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka; and The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene.
The only positive thing I can say about this book is that it proposes counting as a form of transition. Transitions can be very helpful for a high-needs kid, but you don't need to count - you can just tell your child what's coming up or give him five minute warnings when you want him to do something or switch activities. Or use a picture To Do list to give him a sense of control over his world (knowing what's coming up). Spend your money on a better parenting guide.
(A negative review. MSL remarks.)
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1 2 Total 2 pages 12 items |
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