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I Kissed Dating Goodbye (平装)
by Joshua Harris
| Category:
Teens, Romantic realtionship, Christian dating |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
An inspiring book for Christian dating, provides a outline of how to have a biblical vision of marriage, how to deal with relationships with the opposite sex from God's perspective. |
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AllReviews |
1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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Bass (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I'm rather surprised at some of the reviews below from people who say that they love God, and are serving him. Even though they've read Josh's book, I don't think they understand it very well. In a real sense, courtship doesn't restrict teenagers from relationships, it fo fills them. I'm sorry, but it's more than apparent from our huge divorce rate in this country that dating isn't working. But wait, you might say, dating will work if Christ is at the center of your relationship. Personally, I don't feel that getting into a tempting situation like what happens many times on dates is serving God. We're teenagers, which means we make plenty of mistakes. Even if we feel that we're grounded on the word of God, that doesn't mean that we won't and don't give in to temptation.
I think all of us should have a more open mind, and take a good look at ourselves. I know it's hard to admit that we've made mistakes, but if you love God you should want to please him, and thus admitting that you're anything but perfect is much easier. Almost every Christian teenager I know dates, and, unfortunately, a very high number of them have had sex. Why do you think that the pregnancy rate in church's is so high? Is it because we're following God's word? I don't think so.
In closing I would like to say that I believe teens should be concentrating on God during their adolescents. Afterall, the teenage years are when Satin truly begins to try and fight against you with all of the temptations of the world. Don't you think we should be closer than ever to God then. The Bible says, ""But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40: 13 That about sums it up. Wait, and God will bless you. Mark my words.
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Shantelle (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I am 25 years old, and I have dated since I was 16, moving from boyfriend to boyfriend as soon as possible. I always felt lonely if I didn't have someone to hold hands with, kiss, snuggle with, etc. But every one of my nine relationships ended in someone getting hurt because one of us was not ready to make the big commitment. I also ended up having intimate relations, as it is very difficult to say no when you are in a relationship for a long time. (I know of only a handful of 20+ people who have accomplished this.) After ending my most recent relationship, this book looked very appealling. I read it and I was all set to give up dating. Now that my hurt and anger have diminished, the books advice gets hard to follow, especially being the holidays...however...
I have never been so happy with the direction my life is taking, and it's getting easier every day. For anyone reading this review, please take heart and give this way of living a chance. The bad reviews sound like they are coming from people who do not have the conviction or will power to give up intimacy. You will meet many, many men/women like this, and they make it very hard to stick to your guns. And others make it sound like living like this makes it impossible to meet people - not true! You meet people of the same sex and become freinds, don't you? Just treat the opposite sex the same way while you are getting to know them! (Very hard, but not impossible!) And just let me say - for those who think that Joshua Harris did not have enough experience or was old enough to know what he was talking about, I believe it is God's message, through Josh, we are hearing when we read I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Please give it a chance - you will not regret it! I've gotten so many rewards already.
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Meridith (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a wonderful book, but I understand completely how it can be viewed as frustrating, full of nonsense, and irrelevant. Of course it is! Harris talks about dating, a very grey area, whether discussed in youth groups, bars, or around dining room tables.
When I first read the book, I struggled with some of his philosophies. My friends and I would debate the possiblity of two friends moving from group friendships to a marriage-focused "courtship." In today's world it just didn't seem realistic, and many readers would agree. Yet, finally, I got it. Joshua Harris wrote the book for people who truly wanted a strong relationship with God, The lover of our souls. The people who agree with this book have realized that a relationship with Him is the only way anything romantic would ever seem fulfilling. I know, that sounds like everyone who doesn't like Harris' message isn't a strong Christian. I don't mean it that way, but if you realize just how much God loves you, if you go beyond trite Sunday School statements and the tune to "Jesus Loves Me" that drifts in and out of your head with time, Harris's message makes so much sense. There are moments when it doesn't seem practical, but if you truly realize that God is in control, that He sees the desires of your heart, waiting is not an issue. I didn't realize that when I first read IKDG, but now I do. Even if I'm 65 when I first walk down the altar, if I can wake up each morning between now and then and say "Lord, I love you. Remind me that You have a plan and a future for me," then yes, I can and will wait.
"Single Gal" in Boston wrote that I Kissed Dating Goodbye doesn't really apply to 30-somethings. Doesn't it? Certainly circumstances will be different--they will be in high school, college, or in the 9-5 life. But at every stage of life God is there! It seems as though the people who dislike IKDG can't give up dating. I thought I couldn't. But if our Lover looks us in the eye and says, "I love you, I want you, come to ME," can we ignore Him for the sake of a dating relationship?
Ah, well, these are my thoughts. I recommend that anyone, before reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye, pick up a Bible first and read Song of Solomen as a love letter from God to His Bride. Then go through Joshua Harris' book with an open mind, but more importantly, an open heart.
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Tim Champ (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Some of the other people who have written reviews seem to miss the point - It's not about "not dating" it's about not having the mentality of dating. Our culture places hope in breakup after breakup, and the only thing it has done is make our divorce rate go through the roof. What we need is a return to respect for God and respect for purity.
What Josh is trying to say is that we need to get rid of this idea of dating anyone who passes by, and instead wait to get to know someone as a friend, see how they act, see how they communicate. Once we get to really know them (something that never happens in a dating relationship because of the "feelings" you have) then we can decide if persuing a relationship would be the best thing.
I'm a guy, and unlike another reviewer, I still hold with Josh. Challenge your beliefs about dating, it will be worth it. Read his second book Boy meets Girl. He's honest about his relationship with his wife. How he met her, how he pursued, and how he stayed pure until his wedding day. That's what it is all about.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
First on the book... I think it is an amazing insight into dating in our culture. The book isn't as much about not dating as it is about realizing the opportunity you have as a single person to work for God. He's basically arguing that for the amount of time and energy we put into worrying about the person we just met at the bar last night, we have an even better opportunity to use that energy work for and bless God.
He's not saying anyone can't date. Rather, he's questioning the motivations we have behind dating and asking people to really be honest with themselves. One of the reviews posted here on Amazon said something to the effect that "Harris is wrong, I need to date to learn more about relationships and the opposite sex." Got news for you, this is the exact reason Harris says you shouldn't be dating. If you view dating in and of itself as a reason to improve your own "dating skills", you're using the other person in the relationship. In some of the reviews people are basically saying, "Hey, I need to date that way when I meet the right person I'll be ready!" Again, this is selfish and speaks to many of Harris's points about how we use people to refine our opinions of the opposite sex. It's as if we can take a peice of each person we've dated in the past and we'll combine them into the perfect spouse!
I think the reason this book sparks so much debate is because it really calls some people out in terms of their own dating lives. Harris basically says, "If you've been with someone for so long and haven't figured out if you're going to marry them, it's time to move on because all you're doing is using the other person." Oooh boy - I can see some people not liking this. But it's so true!!! He's saying, "Sex should be saved for marriage." Again, I'm sure someone will argue, "but I love the person!" - but if you really love the person, you'll wait.
I guess what's crazy, especially after reading some of the reviews, is that people believe Harris says we just shouldn't date at all. Again, please actually read the book. Harris is really saying that we need to reexamine our reasons for dating in the first place and to enter into our relationships with the opposite sex with God's intentions in mind (selfless love and friendship). He argues we rush into dating to fulfill our romantic needs (needs that only fulfill our selfish emotions and lust), instead of seeing the other person as a friend in Christ.
I would whole heartedly recommend this book to anyone who is single and struggling with their dating life. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
The message in this book is timeless. The author, Joshua Harris, uses very real, down-to-earth examples to illustrate his points. He examines WHY he believes casual dating as we know it (especially the 'going out' among junior and senior high schoolers) is pointless and headed for disaster. This book hits the nail on the head. It points youth, adults, singles, marrieds, EVERYONE towards the ultimate goal of following God. I have thought that "not dating" was just a weird thing my parents made me do, but I read this book and it all clicked. This book has a much-needed message for everyone. I think if people my age (youth) would take this message to heart, the teenage pregnancies, the teenage marriages, STD's, abortions, and broken hearts could be avoided. I love that this book is geared at teenagers. Most books on courtship are aimed at parents and are legalistic. Harris specifically says "I do not think dating is a sin. It's just second-best." This is more a book about following God's Will for relationships than a set of rules. I highly recommend this for everyone!
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Kelly Bialeschki (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I received this book from a friend who was concerned about the relationship I was in. I read it over and over (still I get it out occasionally to remind me that God has someone for me and I only want His best in my life). After reading the book I overheard a few teenage girls in my church talking about boys they thought were cute, or who had a nice hair cut, or whatever! They were obviously "boy crazy"! So, I prayed about it and bought them both a copy. They loved it and have been positively changed by the words of Mr. Harris. I never found in the book that dating was a sin... what I did find was that God want's more for his children than "worldly dating"... the kissing all over and being overly close to each other, and yes... sex. Joshua explains of Gods great love for us. Real love. Not fading. He doesn't say that no one should date, he says that he chose not to for himself! You can get to know people in many other ways. And I agree with the statement that there is no reason to persue a relationship unless you are ready to get married. So many people go from person to person, many times being emotionally scared. Joshua is just trying to eliminate that pain for those who are headed in that direction. With so many diseases and abortions these days, I pray that this book will touch people and they will change their ways of sexual impurity. I'm sure that everyone reading this is not impure... and I pray this book helps them face peer pressures so they can remain pure before the Father. It is my intention to buy this book for every teen in our youth group. God has already provided for half of them, and I trust that He will provide for the other half. Just a note... I gave the book to one teenager whose father read it first and he said that it gave him good insight on what to look for in the future for his children. This book is helpful in many different areas and is highly recommended by me!
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Bryan Jacobs (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
This book has had more impact on my life than any other book out there (save the Bible). Josh's point is not that we should give up dating, but re-examine how we go about finding a spouse in light of our relationship with Jesus Christ. When we do that, many will realize that today's dating is not a Christ-like way of finding someone he intends for us. He raises topics such as the defects of dating, how we should view the opposite sex.
Most of the reviews that did not like this book missed the entire point of the novel, which is that dating should never be to gain experience in treating people, because we lead the other person into thinking we have feelings beyond what we have for them. The same goes for dating for enjoyment and having a successful dating life, which are selfish ambitions. Josh's key point is that love is not about what we get but what we give (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) and how we can best honor the other person. True friendship will yield the knowledge of the opposite sex we need and courtship and marriage are simply the end results of Godly-directed friendship with the right person.
Kudos to you Josh! You changed my life forever!
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Malins (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I kissed Dating Goodbye. The title alone is enough to scare anyone who is interested in the opposite sex out of reading the book, but once you open the cover and begin to read through the book, you soon realise that this book is not about "kissing dating goodbye", but about approaching relationships with the opposite sex with a Godly attitude.
This book is excellent. It's full of practical, Biblical advice on how to balance emotion with commitment, romance with wisdom, feelings with truth.
I would also highly reccommend the follow-on book Boy meets Girl. Boy meets girl was even more helpful for me and provided more insight from Harris who met and married his wife before writing the second book.
I challenge you to read beyond the cover, and look beyond the words "I kissed dating goodbye". You may find this book challenging, but I can guarentee you - if you read this book with an open mind, you will be changed into the person God wants you to be. You will treat members of the opposite sex with the respect and honour that God wants, and you will approach the subject of Dating or Courtship with a level of Godly maturity.
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David Bennett (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I saw the fruits of this book before I read it, and sadly they were mostly negative, despite the potential of the book's intended message. Its wild popularity is one reason why I no longer attend an evangelical church. For instance, new converts often own 3 copies of Harris' book and can spread the anti-dating gospel, but know nothing about the trinity, the Sacraments, or social justice matters. Men sit worried while their girlfriends are on a retreat because the leaders there are giving a "dating talk," which will likely pressure their girlfriends to go into confusion about their otherwise healthy relationship. Men go to the movies with a girl; they pay, they buy dinner, and then call it every term under the sun but "date" to avoid committing the perceived ultimate sin.
Harris has identified the problem: secular dating can be wrong, silly, and dysfunctional. However, the alternatives Harris gives are dysfunctional too. He asserts that romantic love distracts teens from potentially good achievements. However, he fails to consider that a love relationship is itself a good thing! To create a dichotomy between fully serving Christ and dating is false. One can be a good Christian AND be in a meaningful "romantic" relationship. We lose freedom in Christ when we restrict one-on-one interactions to only one sex!
While it may seem liberating to know that singleness is okay, his book strikes me as extreme. Josh takes biblical sources, which were interwoven into the culture of the time, and transports them to the present time, neglecting the original context. He uses many personal stories, but rarely quotes more than one or two lines of scripture. Using this method, one could say that "Biblical" love consists of having multiple wives, marrying cousins, or supplying virgins to keep old married kings warm at night (all of these examples occur in the Bible and are not condemned). From Song of Songs, one can infer that romantic love makes life much more meaningful, and therefore is an essential part of life.
Fortunately Harris admits his ideas are not for everyone. However, since his book is all the rage, most people ignore his caveat, and take the message "the best Christians don't date" with them. Just compare the few youth group studies on the Trinity or the Incarnation to the large number on dating! Perhaps teens do need a book that challenges them to step back from the dating scene and breathe a little easier if they are dateless. However, teenagers soon grow up, and realize that relationships often require trial and error to perfect, and can be meaningful in spiritual and physical ways outside of marriage (but don't take it too far!). If you want to date, then by all means, use your liberty and date. If you prefer "courting," then court. Let's just place Harris' book in its own proper context: one man's interpretation of Christian ethics, but not for everyone.
(A negative review)
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1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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