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I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Paperback)
by Joshua Harris
| Category:
Teens, Romantic realtionship, Christian dating |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
An inspiring book for Christian dating, provides a outline of how to have a biblical vision of marriage, how to deal with relationships with the opposite sex from God's perspective. |
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Author: Joshua Harris
Publisher: Multnomah; Updated edition
Pub. in: April, 2003
ISBN: 1590521358
Pages: 238
Measurements: 8.3 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
Origin of product: USA
Order code: BC00314
Other information: ISBN-13: 978-1590521359
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- Awards & Credential -
The national #1 bestseller with more than 800,000 copies later since its first release. |
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- MSL Picks -
Wow! Wow! Do not hesitate in getting this book. I'm going to read it a 2nd time. Good thing I had a couple red pens because the first one went dry due to the need to underline so many wonderful, Godly points. Joshua Harris is remarkably mature and insightful for his age (early 20s).
I'm 26 and now "I've kissed dating goodbye," too. Having been incredibly hurt (and also causing an incredible amount of hurting) in my last supposedly-Christian relationship, the new, God-centered approach he outlines seems like exactly what God would have me do. I've learned to be content in this "season of singleness" and to seek to serve God and prepare for the future He has for me.
Harris' prayer for us is God's prayer (Phillipians 1:9-11, "That your love my abound more and more in knowledge and insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruits of righteousness...") This is just one of literally tens of Biblical references that guides Harris every step of the way.
If I could have one wish, it was that I would have read this book in 11th grade, before I started dating. It would have saved me (and my ex-girlfriends) a lot of hurt. Thankfully, all things are made new in Christ, and it's never to late to be made new!
This book would also be great for married people! In fact, I gave a copy to my mom, both so that she can better understand her children, and also so that she can read about Harris' insights into God-centered relationships.
Harris challenges us to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ by protecting both our and their purity, and by not pursuing romantic relationships, contact or activities until God has prepared us and has given us the person He would have us be with. No, he doesn't advocate becoming a hermit. On the contrary, his approach teaches us to cultivate deeper (100% Godly) relationships with members of the opposite sex, carried out only in group settings, so "that nothing need be hidden." I've now got a "passion for purity" in relationships and life in general! While we can never completely eliminate sin, we are either progressing toward or away from purity. Previously, I had been stepping away too often.
It also lays out a Godly path for dealing with tough situations in relationships. And it concludes with a helpful section on how to move toward marriage with a potential spouse in a Godly-fashion when God has ordained the "when" and the "who"! Rather than being an "obligation" to wait to date, Harris presents it in a way that makes me feel priveleged to serve God (and myself and His Children) in this way.
Harris also includes many good references for further reading. I'm reading one of those books now, called "The Rich Single Life" by C.J. Mahaney. It's also outstanding.
I guarantee you've never read a book on relationships like this. As Harris says, "this is not a "how to date" book but a "how to break up with dating book!" It's impossible to say too many good things about this book.
I've learned the importance of preparation, service, humility, contentedness, prayer, purity, love, gentleness, self-control, patience, knowledge, tenderness, compassion, vision, listening, and so much else.
I'm literally on-line right now buying a case of this book to give away to friends & family. I've already given away 3 copies. In the inscription on my brother's (age 16) copy, I wrote "This may be the most important gift I've ever given you."
I would strongly encourage anyone, whether in a relationship or not, Christian or not, to get this book and study it immediately. It will change your life, too!
(From quoting Chris Cowen, USA)
Target readers:
Young single Christians.
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.
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From The Publisher
Joshua Harris's first book, written when he was only 21, turned the Christian singles scene upside down...and people are still talking. More than 800,000 copies later, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with its inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness, remains the benchmark for books on Christian dating. Now, for the first time since its release, the national #1 bestseller has been expanded with new content and updated for new readers. Honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and provides solid, biblical alternatives to society's norm.
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| View all 10 comments |
Bass (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I'm rather surprised at some of the reviews below from people who say that they love God, and are serving him. Even though they've read Josh's book, I don't think they understand it very well. In a real sense, courtship doesn't restrict teenagers from relationships, it fo fills them. I'm sorry, but it's more than apparent from our huge divorce rate in this country that dating isn't working. But wait, you might say, dating will work if Christ is at the center of your relationship. Personally, I don't feel that getting into a tempting situation like what happens many times on dates is serving God. We're teenagers, which means we make plenty of mistakes. Even if we feel that we're grounded on the word of God, that doesn't mean that we won't and don't give in to temptation.
I think all of us should have a more open mind, and take a good look at ourselves. I know it's hard to admit that we've made mistakes, but if you love God you should want to please him, and thus admitting that you're anything but perfect is much easier. Almost every Christian teenager I know dates, and, unfortunately, a very high number of them have had sex. Why do you think that the pregnancy rate in church's is so high? Is it because we're following God's word? I don't think so.
In closing I would like to say that I believe teens should be concentrating on God during their adolescents. Afterall, the teenage years are when Satin truly begins to try and fight against you with all of the temptations of the world. Don't you think we should be closer than ever to God then. The Bible says, ""But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40: 13 That about sums it up. Wait, and God will bless you. Mark my words.
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Shantelle (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I am 25 years old, and I have dated since I was 16, moving from boyfriend to boyfriend as soon as possible. I always felt lonely if I didn't have someone to hold hands with, kiss, snuggle with, etc. But every one of my nine relationships ended in someone getting hurt because one of us was not ready to make the big commitment. I also ended up having intimate relations, as it is very difficult to say no when you are in a relationship for a long time. (I know of only a handful of 20+ people who have accomplished this.) After ending my most recent relationship, this book looked very appealling. I read it and I was all set to give up dating. Now that my hurt and anger have diminished, the books advice gets hard to follow, especially being the holidays...however...
I have never been so happy with the direction my life is taking, and it's getting easier every day. For anyone reading this review, please take heart and give this way of living a chance. The bad reviews sound like they are coming from people who do not have the conviction or will power to give up intimacy. You will meet many, many men/women like this, and they make it very hard to stick to your guns. And others make it sound like living like this makes it impossible to meet people - not true! You meet people of the same sex and become freinds, don't you? Just treat the opposite sex the same way while you are getting to know them! (Very hard, but not impossible!) And just let me say - for those who think that Joshua Harris did not have enough experience or was old enough to know what he was talking about, I believe it is God's message, through Josh, we are hearing when we read I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Please give it a chance - you will not regret it! I've gotten so many rewards already.
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Meridith (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a wonderful book, but I understand completely how it can be viewed as frustrating, full of nonsense, and irrelevant. Of course it is! Harris talks about dating, a very grey area, whether discussed in youth groups, bars, or around dining room tables.
When I first read the book, I struggled with some of his philosophies. My friends and I would debate the possiblity of two friends moving from group friendships to a marriage-focused "courtship." In today's world it just didn't seem realistic, and many readers would agree. Yet, finally, I got it. Joshua Harris wrote the book for people who truly wanted a strong relationship with God, The lover of our souls. The people who agree with this book have realized that a relationship with Him is the only way anything romantic would ever seem fulfilling. I know, that sounds like everyone who doesn't like Harris' message isn't a strong Christian. I don't mean it that way, but if you realize just how much God loves you, if you go beyond trite Sunday School statements and the tune to "Jesus Loves Me" that drifts in and out of your head with time, Harris's message makes so much sense. There are moments when it doesn't seem practical, but if you truly realize that God is in control, that He sees the desires of your heart, waiting is not an issue. I didn't realize that when I first read IKDG, but now I do. Even if I'm 65 when I first walk down the altar, if I can wake up each morning between now and then and say "Lord, I love you. Remind me that You have a plan and a future for me," then yes, I can and will wait.
"Single Gal" in Boston wrote that I Kissed Dating Goodbye doesn't really apply to 30-somethings. Doesn't it? Certainly circumstances will be different--they will be in high school, college, or in the 9-5 life. But at every stage of life God is there! It seems as though the people who dislike IKDG can't give up dating. I thought I couldn't. But if our Lover looks us in the eye and says, "I love you, I want you, come to ME," can we ignore Him for the sake of a dating relationship?
Ah, well, these are my thoughts. I recommend that anyone, before reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye, pick up a Bible first and read Song of Solomen as a love letter from God to His Bride. Then go through Joshua Harris' book with an open mind, but more importantly, an open heart.
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Tim Champ (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Some of the other people who have written reviews seem to miss the point - It's not about "not dating" it's about not having the mentality of dating. Our culture places hope in breakup after breakup, and the only thing it has done is make our divorce rate go through the roof. What we need is a return to respect for God and respect for purity.
What Josh is trying to say is that we need to get rid of this idea of dating anyone who passes by, and instead wait to get to know someone as a friend, see how they act, see how they communicate. Once we get to really know them (something that never happens in a dating relationship because of the "feelings" you have) then we can decide if persuing a relationship would be the best thing.
I'm a guy, and unlike another reviewer, I still hold with Josh. Challenge your beliefs about dating, it will be worth it. Read his second book Boy meets Girl. He's honest about his relationship with his wife. How he met her, how he pursued, and how he stayed pure until his wedding day. That's what it is all about.
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