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Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (平装)
by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.
| Category:
Baby care, Parenting |
| Market price: ¥ 168.00
MSL price:
¥ 158.00
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
What a great, common sense way to teach moms to recognize sleep patterns, this book is recommended as a invaluable tool to create sanity and structure in your home. |
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AllReviews |
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Susan Seling (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
This book works. I have two children, and started using Weissbluth's techniques when my oldest (now 3) was about 5 months old. Within three nights she was sleeping through the night, from 8:00 PM to 8:00 AM. My son is now 5 months old, and he has been sleeping solidly for 12 hours a night since he was 3 months old, thanks to Weissbluth's techniques. I personally know of a dozen children who sleep 12 hours a night, plus naps, after implementing Weissbluth's recommendations.
This book DOES recommend letting your kids "Cry it out", crying themselves to sleep. Every parent I know who has used his techniques has children that sleep well, and the entire family is happier, as a result. Every parent I know that does not allow their kids to learn how to self-soothe (which is what happens when they realize that you aren't coming in to feed them again, or rock them, or pop a pacifier in their mouths), have children who are waking up 2-3 times a night, throughout their early childhoods (we're talking 3, 4 and 5 year-olds not sleeping through the night).
It is worth three or four nights of sitting outside your child's door, listening to them cry, to enjoy months and years of solid sleep for your entire family. Learning to disengage from the world and fall asleep is a skill that needs to be learned, and Weissbluth gives parents the ammunition they need to overcome their natural emotions (wanting to soothe their children the moment they start to cry), and realize they are teaching their children an important life-skill.
My son cried for 45 minutes the first night, 20 minutes the second night, and 2 minutes the third. He does not cry when I put him in bed now, unless he is overtired. My daughter always cried for 5 minutes or so, but then would sleep solidly through the night.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Buy it. Read it. Use it. And enjoy a good night's sleep (except for nights that involve teething and sickness...sleep just doesn't happen on most of those evenings!) |
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R. Brown (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
I believe this is the most comprehensive and practical sleep book out there for parents - and I've read just about all of them! If you buy it you will not regret it. I especially like it becuase it acknowledges that babies/children are different in personality and mature at various rates and provides many ideas for solving problems. For example, the author provides various approaches to early sleep - you can rock your infant to sleep or you may decide to begin by putting your baby down awake depending upon the child and family situation. However, healthy sleep habits are the same for nearly everyone and this book provides you with a road map for where you want to be and plans for how to get there. It is amazing to me that people who never read this book and have naturally good sleepers will find their infants following this pattern on their own. For the other 75% or more of us it is helpful to have this book to guide our babies into healthy patterns - or as close as we can to healthy! |
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Jason Grutter (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
Of all the parenting books available, this one takes top billing on our bookcase. And trust me, we've read and continue to reference many. With its singular focus and well documented conclusions, this book quickly became known around our house as the "Sleep Bible." I have purchased this book as a gift on multiple occasions and never hesitate to recommend it to parents who are struggling to gain some semblance of healthy sleep habits for their children. I truly feel we would all be better off if more parents were able to achieve the healthy sleep paterns in their children that this book has helped us to attain. And those who prefer to think of the method as draconian or unnecessarilly and prohibitively cruel, ask yourself how cruel it is to deprive a child of the benefits of healthy sleep in order to asuage the temporary discomfort YOU feel in allowing your child to learn to put his/herself to sleep. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
Dr. Weisbluth's book was lent to me by a friend just as my daughter was turning 5 1/2 months old. She had changed from a great sleeper to miserable and I couldn't figure out why. I had said from the beginning that I would never let my child "cry it out" and I resisted when people mentioned this book because I was concerned that I would have to do just that. But, after reading his book cover to cover I learned Dr. Weisbluth's book doesn't focus on letting your child cry. He explains when and why you should put your child down to sleep and addresses the emotions parents feel if their child does cry for any length of time. After reading this book I discovered my daughter was overtired and once I started following the nap guidelines her bedtime went from crying and screaming to quietly laying down ech night. Do not let people scare you with the "crying it out" part - as I said Dr. Weissbluth's book addresses much more and I'm so happy that we decided to try his techniques. If you are having a difficult time with naptime or bedtime I highly recommend this book! |
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Adrienne Major (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
I believe this book is essential for every first-time parent. It's true that the writing is a bit clinical, and I had to re-read sections frequently to really comprehend them. But for me, the scientific data given in this book lends credibility to Dr. Weissbluth's recommendations, even if making some of it a bit dry. Dr. Weissbluth certainly knows what he's talking about. And without this book, I would have been totally clueless as to what to expect and what I should be working for with my baby. He was difficult (to put it mildly) in the sleep department from day one. Even as a brand new baby, he would only sleep if he was being held and most of the rest of the time he just cried. He would never sleep in a car-seat or stroller as many babies do. Now, at just over a year old, he takes two naps a day for 2 hours each, and goes to bed usually around 7:30pm, waking up at 7:00am. He still wakes once a night sometimes, but we are light-years from where we started! It has taken a lot of hard work and quite a bit of crying to get to this point, but it was so worth it. I have no doubt that without the information in this book Evan's sleep schedule would be an absolute mess right now. Instead, he is well-rested, happy, and sleeps predictably most of the time. I am eternally grateful to the friend who recommended this book to me when I was pregnant! |
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Ann Douglas (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
Marc Weissbluth, MD, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, explains the key role that sleep plays in allowing children to be at their best during the day - to achieve Weissbluth calls "optimal wakefulness."
Weissbluth demonstrates the link between sleep problems at night and a child's behavior during the day, noting "Sleep problems not only disrupt a child's nights, they disrupt his days, too, by making him less mentally alert, more inattentive, unable to concentrate, and easily distracted. They also make him more physically impulsive, hyperactive, or lazy. But when children sleep well, they are optimally awake and alert, able to learn and grow up with charm and humor."
Weissbluth argues that, at around three to four months of age, all children are ready to begin the process of beginning to learn to sleep well. Parents sometimes get in the way of this natural process of sleep learning, however: "When parents are too irregular, inconsistent, or oversolicitous, or when there are unresolved problems between the parents, the resulting sleep problems converge, producing excessive nighttime wakefulness and crying."
Weissbluth recommends the cry-it-out sleep training method, in which the child's cries are ignored in an effort to "extinguish" night-time crying. He argues that this method is the most effective. "The general reason why a gradual approach tends to be less successful in the long run is that it takes longer and there are always natural disruptions of sleep, such as illnesses or vacations. The subsequent reestablishment of healthy sleep routines using a gradual approach becomes very stressful to the parents. Several days or weeks of a gradual approach often wear down parents, so they give up and revert to their old inconsistencies. Parents who have successfully used extinction know that they might have one, and only one, night of crying after they return home from several days on vacation or from a visit to a relative's house."
Weissbluth explains physiological processes that govern sleep in young children -- specifically how becoming overtired can set off a series of biochemical processes that can make it even more difficult for your child to get to sleep the next time naptime or bedtime rolls around. The underlying theme of this book is "sleep begets sleep," which is why Weissbluth is so insistent that you have to make ensuring that your child gets adequate daytime and night-time sleep a priority for your family.
The key strength of this book is the specific "sleep science" information that it contains. On the downside, as other parents have noted, Weissbluth sometimes has an overly clinical approach to the subject of babies and sleep; and he doesn't make it clear how the theories of sleep science (which he outlines so well) are supposed to mesh with all the latest research about attachment theory and parent-child bonding.
The parents that I interviewed for my recent book on this subject had mixed reactions to the cry-it-out method that Weissbluth advocates in this book:
"I know several moms who have had great success by sticking with routines, and that's great. They seem limited, however, as to when they can do things during the day because they have to be home at certain times for naps."
"I don't think the cry-it-out method is bad for [babies]: it's just very hard to do as a parent. It almost killed me the first few times she cried for more than ten minutes. I didn't go by the book enough to know if I gave it an honest chance for my daughter. 'No cry' doesn't work entirely for us either. Sometimes she cries no matter what if she's tired. Sometimes she'll cry in my arms on her way to her crib for a nap. Sometimes she'll cry harder if she's being soothed when she'd rather be sleeping. Sometimes I swear she is hollering 'Leave me alone. I'm trying to fall asleep.' I think we're going to come to some agreement that is partway between cry and no cry. We're not there yet."
"Our daughter's lack of sleep was affecting our family, our marriage, and her emotional, physical, and social health. We knew that as parents we would often make decisions that were in her best interest, whether those decisions made her happy or not. While I am not a huge fan of crying it out, I have to say it produces results better than any other plan we have tried. Every mother hates to hear her child cry: it is heart-wrenching. I try to remind myself that I am not leaving them to cry themselves to cry themselves to sleep. I am leaving them to learn to sleep by themselves. That distinction can be helpful in the middle of the night."
So is Weissbluth's book for everyone? Absolutely not - just as Sears' book isn't for everyone, Pantley's books aren't for everyone, Ferber's book isn't for everyone, Mindell's book isn't for everyone, and my book isn't for everyone. The reason is obvious. There's no "one size fits all sleep solution." As parents. we need to come up with our own unique sleep solutions that take into account our baby's age and developmental stage; ttemperament; own parenting style/philosophies; and our family's unique situation/circumstances.
If you're like the parents that I interviewed for my book, you'll probably find that your ideal sleep solution consists of a blend of the good/sensible ideas from all the sleep books and articles you read on this topic AND the best/most "in synch" wisdom from the parents you talked to - and that you run through your own, unique parenting filter.
I wish you all the best in finding the sleep solution that's right for you and your child.
Note: I am giving this book five-stars because, whether or not you agree with its specific philosophy and/or sleep training method or not, it has contributed a lot of valuable information to the subject of sleep science and continues to be a useful sleep reference book. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
I love this book! It saved my sleepless insanity and my family!
I originally read this book six years ago when my first daughter was nearing 9 months old. I couldn't bear the thought of her "crying it out". I read many books and we tried many different methods, including Dr. Ferber's, Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley. I really never stuck to one method for any length of time because none seemed right. Dr. Ferber's method seemed to egg on the crying. Each time we went in to say "it's okay" and pat her back and tried to reassure her, the crying only intensified. Dr. Sears's "family bed" was making us crazy. None of us were sleeping. We battled sleep issues for four solid years after that. Needless to say, it was not easy.
With the onset of our second daughter, I vowed not to repeat the same mistakes. From the day she was born, I could tell that this one was a fiery one and she was going to give me a run for the money. In my sleepless delirium, I re-read Dr. Weissbluth's book, from cover to cover. This time, however, something clicked. It all made sense. I started trying to put her down awake at 3 months old. I played her lullaby CD and darkened the room, put her coziest blanket in the crib and her bear. She would cry and cry and cry. Over an hour each time without falling asleep. So, I waited two months. At five months I tried again, but this time it started to work. She would fall asleep sometime after 10 minutes, sometimes after one solid hour. This was only going on at naptime. I still did not have the courage to go cold turkey at night too. I was nursing her to sleep at night and then she would wake up every 2-3 hours. Finally around 9 months, I started at night. It took about 3 weeks before she finally started getting it. It was agonizing listening to her cry, I had to turn off the monitor and walk away. But the sound of silence, once asleep and the happy little face, after good sleep made it all worth it. She is now 16 months and a really great sleeper. She loves her bed and typically goes to sleep without complaint. If she wakes up at all during the night, she goes right back to sleep within minutes. We are all a much happier family when she gets her naps and good nigthtime sleep. It is not easy sometimes adhering to a very strict sleep schedule, but it is so worth it. This baby is so much happier when she is on her schedule. I know that if I had to do it over again I would do it in a hearbeat.
There is no substitue for Healty Sleep for your entire family. If you don't start now, please start soon. It will save you from years of bad sleep habits. Read this book and really think about the benefits of good, healthy sleep. When your children sleep well, you all sleep well. I hope that you sleep well soon!
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
This book was highly recommended to me and for the most part, I found it to be very helpful. It has a lot of great information, however, as one reviewer noted, it is not well organized, which makes referrencing very difficult. The one big warning I would like to share concerns the author's advice about the morning nap. My son is 4.5 months old and I was struggling with his morning naps when I turned to this book for guidance. He basically suggests that you should shorten your child's morning waketime if you are having problems with the first nap of the day. I followed his advice and consequently, my son and I struggled even more. Everytime I would put him in his crib, he would scream and scream and it was tearing me up inside. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and my son was very difficult to read. The author suggests that many babies cry before going to sleep, which just made me more confused. Finally, I just gave up on the author's morning nap advice entirely; took my son out of his crib and let him play for as long as he wanted to. A couple hours later, I tried to put him down for a nap again and he went to sleep peacefully, without any protest. My son needed to do the exact opposite from what the author advises: he needed to be awake much longer in the morning before being put down for a nap. He did not need to lie in his bed screaming for an hour until he fell asleep (as the book suggests). I am so angry that I struggled for so long until I figured this out. It seems very simple, but when you read this book, you'll see why I was so confused. I just wanted to warn readers so that people don't make the same mistake I did. I know all babies are different and his advice may work for many babies... but it certainly did not work for us. Other than this bit, I think the book is very good. |
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Sarah Murphy (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
As a first-time parent, I had very little understanding of healthy sleep in babies. I read this book cover to cover when I was pregnant with my son and now refer back to it frequently when questions arise. My son falls into Dr. Weissbluth's "common fussy" category; not a colicky baby, but not easy, either. For those who have read Dr. William and Martha Sears' "The Baby Book", my son also fits their "high need baby" description. I have found Dr. Weissbluth's description of sleep needs at different ages to be spot-on.
The most helpful information from this book for me involves the two-hour window of wakefulness for infants, i.e., that babies typically cannot tolerate more than two hours of wakefulness without becoming overtired. My son's window is usually shorter than that (about one and a half hours). He occasionally exceeds two hours of wakefulness and, just as the book predicts, becomes overtired. I have developed a very protective attitude toward my child's sleep needs, as I have seen first-hand the effects of overtiredness. It is often difficult for others to understand, as his need for quiet, motionless sleep naturally limits his portability at this age. The majority of people that I have talked to about his sleep are surprised that he naps so frequently and seem unaware that keeping a baby up late at night can be detrimental. It is sometimes a challenge to structure the day so that he gets the sleep that he needs, but it is worth it knowing that he will benefit from being well rested. I have taken to heart many of Dr. Weissbluth's strategies for preventing sleep problems and feel that I have had a much smoother time with my baby, given his temperament, than I might have otherwise had if I had not been armed with this knowledge. At three months of age, he naps about six times a day for thirty to forty-five minutes and sleeps from 8:30 p.m. until 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. Furthermore, we have been able to move him from a bedside co-sleeper to his crib full-time with no problem.
I find Dr. Weissbluth's manner of discussing different approaches to sleep problems, such as night waking, to be helpful. He presents a range of options for dealing with night waking and why a particular method might be right for you and your child (for example, exhausted parents with a colicky baby may want to try a particular approach because it corrects the problem quickly.) He communicates information in an objective manner, unlike the discussion of sleep in the Sears' "The Baby Book", which promotes the family bed concept as the cure-all. As with all information, you, as a parent, have to test out different approaches to find what is right for your family.
Like other reviewers, I find the organization of the book to be a weak point. When referring back to it, I sometimes have a difficult time locating the passage that I want.
One other complaint that I have is Dr. Weissbluth's discussion of night waking due to growing pains. He seems to regard this phenomenon as a ploy on the part of the child to gain parental attention. However, I had terrible growing pains as a child that often woke me up. My parents never hesitated to provide physical and emotional support during these episodes and I can't imagine doing anything less for my child.
Overall, the book provides invaluable, research-based information that supports parents interested in promoting healthy sleep in children, from infancy to adolescence. I have recommended it to other parents and will continue to do so. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
To say that Marc Weissbluth's method doesn't work gives this book too much credit, as it implies that there is actually a method to be found somewhere in it. Now it is certainly possible that Weissbluth had some method in mind when he was writing, but he completely failed to convey this method, if it in fact exists, to the pages of the book. The man's inability to effectively communicate is truly astonishing. He has an abnoxious habit of completely dancing around the point he is trying to make, instead of just making it. For example, he never comes out and says that for the first three to four months of a baby's life, you can't expect any regular sleep patterns. Instead he just starts talking about establishing sleep patterns in your three to four month child. Furthermore, chapter headings mean nothing to this man. There is almost no organization to the book, so it is nearly impossible to reference something you may have read earlier. To give another example his teaching style, he repeats the mantra "never wake a sleeping baby" a number of times. Later he advises you to wake your baby if it is time to wake up. On yet a different page, he explains that you can in fact wake a baby if it is necessary to maintain their sleep schedule. Perhaps he should have written "seldom wake a sleeping baby". If you have a photographic memory, and can instantly index everything you have read, maybe you can figure out what it is you are supposed to do.
As far as content goes, Weissbluth spends alot of words telling you that your child needs sleep. Its really important that you child gets enough sleep. And it isn't good if the child falls asleep and wakes up too soon, the sleep needs to be of sufficient duration. Well duh, if I hadn't already assumed that I wouldn't be reading a book that claims to tell me how to get children to sleep. He also includes alot of testimonials from parents who have used his method. Other books have used these with some success, mainly to show you that you child's behavior, as atrocious as it may seem, is really quite common, but Weissbluth botches these too. He will have some story about parents who came to him with a sleep problem, and he tells them to put the child to bed thirty minutes earlier, and everything is magically cured. But he includes no mechanism to explain why this supposedly worked, so unless you have the exact same problem, you learn nothing from this.
The closest thing I could find to a method was to simply let children cry themselves to sleep. Maybe that is what all of Weissbluth's research boils down to, but if that is the case, then this book only needed to be about a page long. But even if that is what he meant, I have known several children, one my own, who don't cry themselves to sleep, but instead work themselves deeper and deeper into a frenzy when you do just let them cry at night. I only tried this because it was doctor recommended, and it didn't work.
So, if this book is so incoherent and impossible to use, why do so many reviewers claim the method works? Remember when I pointed out where Weissbluth never quite said that babies are incapable of having a regular sleep schedule untill the age of three to four months? Well, I suspect that most people read this book before that point, and then whatever they interpreted this book to mean they should try appeared to work because their child naturally developed normal sleep habits by that age. This is what happend with my second child. We really didn't try anything, and it worked. He developed good sleep habits on his own. It is only with exceptionally difficult children (like my first child) that you realize that this book really isn't doing anything for you.
Finally, I called this book mostly useless instead of completely useless for a reason. While I don't believe that Weissbluth has discovered anything to improve a difficult child's sleep habits, it does appear that he has at least observed and documented what normal sleep habits are like. He also points out the somewhat counterintuitive notion that sleep deprivation can actually make it harder for a child to sleep than being on a normal schedule. This could be useful to prevent messing up a normal child's sleep schedule, but it doesn't help if the child is difficult and simple won't get enough sleep in the first place.
I am convinced that if you have a child with a real sleep problem, that none of the experts really have a solution. If there were a simple solution, it would be be too valuable not to be common knowledge by now.
(A negative review. MSL quote) |
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