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The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night (平装)
by Elizabeth Pantley
| Category:
Child care, Baby care, Parenting |
| Market price: ¥ 168.00
MSL price:
¥ 158.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Truly kind and gentle methods advocated, this book presents a humane solution to sleeplessness! |
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AllReviews |
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Rebecca (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Most of the suggestions offered in this book are common sense. I found that I had been using most of them without success for months before I had even read the book (I kept a journal, we had a bedtime routine, etc). Nevertheless, I studied it carefully and tried again, this time with renewed hope. After several months, my baby's sleep habits were worse, not better.
The fact that the methods outlined in this book were ineffectual for my baby is not why I give the book one star. I thought these ideas would work too; as I said, they were common sense. And I'm sure that they do work for some babies. Instead, my reason for the low rating is that Pantley is patronizing, insulting, and judgemental. One section near the end of the book, "Baseball Babies," infuriated me. Pantley shamelessly passes judgement on another mother with a different parenting style while bragging that she essentially allowed her infant to be passed around a dugout full of pre-teens like a bag of chips. (While the mother's actions as described do seem cold, I'm wondering if we are really getting the full picture.) In fact, much of the book seemed to be a forum for her to brag about her own parenting skills and to pass judgement on others who do not agree with her.
The methods in Jodi Mindell's Sleeping Through the Night worked for us, and I would recommend that book over this one (although I have some minor issues with that book too). While there is some crying involved, it is a more gentle approach than, although similar to, the Ferber method. Using Mindell's approach, I was able to help my baby improve her sleep habits quickly, without feeling like I was abandoning her.
In the end, moms have to follow their intuition about what it right for their babies. Pantley's approach did not work for us. After my baby turned seven months old, when she woke up during the night (which was frequently), the only thing that was wrong is that she couldn't get back to sleep. She didn't want held or nursed or patted or even brought to bed with me. She simply wanted to sleep. I found that she actually cried much LESS when I institued Mindell's methods than when I was trying Pantley's. The reason, I believe, is that what my baby needed was to be left alone to get comfortable and fall back asleep. When I went in and interfered, she became upset. Yes, it took her a little while (less than a week) to learn how to get herself comfortable, but she is a pro now, and because she is no longer sleep deprived, she is a much happier baby than she ever was before.
I resent Pantley's implication that all moms who allow their children to cry must be bad parents. I allowed my baby to fuss I because I was very attuned to her needs and acted accordingly. As I saw it, her lack of sleep (and subsequently mine) was a health and safety issue - she obviously wasn't getting the rest she needed, and since I wasn't either, I was going through days in a fog, a potentially dangerous situation. Now, instead of constantly trying to get her to sleep, we spend our days playing, reading, singing, walking, generally enjoying each other. I am gratefull that I was able to fix her sleep problems so that we are able to spend this kind of time together. I didn't resort to Mindell's method because my patience wore thin; I chose it delibrately based on how my baby was responding to other techniques. I believe that other moms have done the same.
Pantley's judgemental tone is strong, and it is the reason that I refuse to recommend this book to anyone.
(A negative review. MSL remarks.) |
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L. Williams (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I bought this book before my DD was born and have referred to it constantly for the past 13 months of her life. It has proved to be a constant source of encouragement and has really helped me through various stages of sleep training, beginning with early infancy and through to early toddlerhood.
Babies are constantly changing, and along with various developmental stages, teething, sickness, weaning etc, their sleep habits also change. This book provides all the loving techniques to help your little one eventually learn to sleep by themselves without subjecting them or you to a sense of loss or neglect. CIO may work in some cases, but it's often as traumatic on the parents as it is on the baby and I didn't want to have that memory associated with this stage of my DD's life.
Instead we have travelled the road of consistent change over time, progressing from co-sleeping and nursing through the night to independent crib sleep with several night wakings for nursing through to only one early morning waking at present that requires very little intervention for me to help my DD back to sleep. The single most important point was teaching my DD to fall asleep by herself at night without me in the room. After that, everything else fell into place over time (it doesn't happen overnight but it's a gradual and loving journey like any other skill your child will learn in their first years). In fact, the first night my DD fell asleep by herself and didn't cry out for me in the middle of the night, I actually felt a sense of loss. Now of course I relish my new found freedom and continuous hours of sleep.
Other important lessons covered in this book include help with naptimes (ie. getting my DD to sleep using whatever method worked during the day really helped with night time sleep), keeping logs (proved to be really motivational and helped to keep the plan on track over time) and the Pantley gentle removal plan which helped to wean my DD from night time nursing. I know there will be ongoing challenges as my DD has further teething episodes or illness, but I'm now armed with the skills to help her through those times with all the love and sensitivity that Elizabeth's book has provided me with.
I would encourage any new parent or any parent experiencing sleepless nights to at least read this book as it is an invaluable addition to your parenting library. |
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A reader (MSL quote), UK
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I cannot describe the relief I felt when I saw the title of this book.
My baby was 6 months old and would never sleep for longer than one and a half hours. Whenever he woke he needed breastfeeding to settle again. My husband and I were exhausted and I was desperate for an answer, but the very thought of leaving my baby to cry filled me with dread, guilt, panic, anxiety, to name just a few of my emotions. Until that moment I believed that this was the only way we could teach him to sleep.
Seeing this book was a revelation - there WAS another way. I ordered immediately and read it from cover to cover as soon as it arrived.
Elizabeth Pantley obviously writes from the heart and her parenting ethics are so similar to mine. This book made me laugh and cry, but most of all it filled me with hope, where before there had been none. I truly believed Elizabeth when she told me my baby could learn to sleep and I followed her advice because it made absolute sense and spoke to all of my maternal instincts. I knew she had been where I was then, and just to read comments from her and others who had been through the same experiences made me feel instantly better.
I was not prepared for the added bonuses I got from using this programme. The bond between my baby and me became much stronger because we were working at this problem together. I felt as if I was doing exactly what a mother should do: helping her child through a difficult time, and teaching him to cope, with my support. How can it ever be right to leave a baby to deal with a hard time alone, crying for his parents, pleading for help?
My husband was also involved closely in supporting us on this programme. Although initially I needed to settle our baby with a breastfeed, when we decided that he was ready to reduce his night time feeding, he would settle him back to sleep during the night.
My baby is now just over a year old. He still goes to sleep at the breast, but will then be put down in his cot and will sleep for several hours, before waking again. I still cannot believe the improvements we have seen, and am so relieved that we have not had to watch our precious baby suffer in order to see them.
My only regret is that I did not find this book earlier. I recommend that it is read during pregnancy, so that the programme can be used from birth.
If you are reading this as a sleep deprived, exhausted parent, a pregnant woman, or a health professional working with babies please, please , please read this book.
Babies do not have to cry themselves to sleep. There is another way.
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Melissa Camocho (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
This is a decent book with some good ideas to help your baby sleep through the night without crying. The only problem I have with this book is it seems to promote that if you let your child cry to learn to sleep, you will scar them or yourself for life. I read this book through twice and tried the ideas with my 9 month old who was waking 6-7 times a night. My attempts to remove the breast from her mouth via the "Pantley Removal Method" or the pacifier only made her very upset. She would get so upset that she would wake herself up and then have to cry to get settled down. I tried putting her in her crib using the ideas in this book, and she would wake and cry every time I put her in her crib. Granted, I probably gave up too early trying these methods because I was so sleep deprived, I did not have the patience to go through anymore months.
The problem with reading this book is that if you decide to go with a book like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, as I did, you might feel guilty. In my opinion, the author should present her ideas as another way to get your baby to sleep through the night... not as the "right" way. She presents a lot of data that supports her claim that crying to sleep will traumatize the baby. However, there is a lot of research that supports the opposite. She does not present the other side at all in her book.
Anyway, I ended up letting my baby cry to learn to sleep. My heart was breaking every step of the way. It took about three nights and she is sleeping the entire night and takes two naps a day. She is very happy and acts just as she used to... only much more well rested and relaxed. We are all happier at my house. I do not feel like I am a bad mother for using this method as it has been shown that it has no ill effects on the child. I would have loved to have her learn to sleep without crying, but it just wouldn't happen.
I would suggest Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was a much better book and more believable. It also presents both sides of the coin.
(A negative review. MSL remarks.) |
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