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Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (精装)
by Lois P. Frankel
| Category:
Personal improvement, Career development, Female reading |
| Market price: ¥ 228.00
MSL price:
¥ 208.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Although you may not be aware of it, girlish behaviors such as these are sabotaging your career! This is a book aiming at help you break the impasse. |
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AllReviews |
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Wendy Anderson (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
This book has been all that I hoped for and more. The book, in a nutshell, basically says that to get ahead in life, in career, in everything, women need to stop acting like little girls.
Replete with examples from Ms. Frankel's consulting clients, this book gives practical, no-holds-barred evaluations of such behaviours as feeding people at the office, working too hard, asking questions instead of making statements, and "asking permission." That last was a revelation to me.
As Ms. Frankel points out, we are all raised in a society that says you should get proper approvals before taking a step - any step. But men learn when to ask and when to just go ahead. Men learn how to apply the rubric "It's easier to get forgiveness than to get permission." Ms. Frankel pointes out that children, not adults, ask for permission to do perfectly rational things. I had never considered how detrimental to my career the habit of asking permission had been. But I decided to give Ms. Frankel's suggestions a try. I went to my boss and said, "I cannot come in on Friday." My boss looked nonplussed. I was petrified, but proud. I had done it. I had Made A Statement instead of Seeking Approval. And he didn't demur. He said, "Okay," and we went on with the day.
If you are feeling frustrated by the glass ceiling, if you feel stuck and can't figure out why you can't get further in your career ambitions (and if you're a female), this book is definitely worth the investment. It opened my eyes to things I did that I never even thought about, things that presented an image of an incompetent child - not a competent, composed, and capable woman. My image is now improving, and yours can too.
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Karen Lopez (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
I must have picked up and put back this book 10 times on 10 visits to the bookstore before I actually purchased it. I mean, I've been doing this working in an office shtick for 20 years and you'd think I'd have learned the types of behaviours that work and the ones that don't. But the better part of me won out.
Frankel is an executive coach who has written what I believe is the most valuable book one could give to new professional, female or male. For each mistake, she tells a story of someone who has made the mistake and the price they pay. Then on the next page she gives tips on how to correct or avoid the behaviour. I can see myself in some of these situations, especially early in my career.
Chapter 1 contains a self assessment, along with a description of how people learn to change their behaviours. I especially like the discussion about unconscious competence.
Chapter 2, How You Play the Game, discusses the types of work styles and approaches that get women into trouble - pinching company pennies, doing the work of others, working too hard, among others.
How You Act, Chapter 3, covers the tough problems that I constantly see women project: polling others before making a decision, needing to be liked, sharing too much personal information, decorating your office like a living room, and more.
Chapter 4, How You Think, delves into the problems women face when they think too much: viewing men as father figures, refusing perks, and making up negative stories. I found this chapter to be right on the button when comes to how women think.
The fifth chapter, How You Brand and Market Yourself keyed in on important aspects of how women diminish their position in order to be "nice". Minimizing your work or position, using only your nickname or first name, waiting to be noticed, working in stereotypical roles or departments were some of the most common mistakes I see women make.
Chapter 6, How You Sound, focused on how we women communicate: too much explaining, asking permission (we know what Grace Hopper said about this), apologizing, talking too fast, speaking softly, using touchy-feely language. Two of the mistakes are ones that I see all the time and I have witnessed how they negatively affect a women's chances for promotion: couching statements as questions, and the killer mistake, using long preambles. If you make these two mistakes on a regular basis, you need to get your hands on this book.
Chapter 7, How You Look, discusses how you present yourself, makeup mistakes, how you sit, how you dress.
Chapter 8, How You Respond, deals with how you respond to awkward and tough situations. One of my favourites here is what to say when you are asked to make coffee, get copies, or take notes. I learned very early in my career to choose to do these tasks poorly. My direct boss knew right away that I was faking it, but his bosses learned to ask some other woman to do it. Frankel here suggest to refuse and I'm not sure how that would go over. My rule is "never be good at something you don't want to do for the rest of your career."
The appendix has resources for further development.
I read this book thinking "do I do that" much of the way through and I believe that's a great thing to get out of this book. I highly recommend this to all new professionals, as many of the mistakes are made by men as well.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
My wife brought this book home and I took a peek. Yes, this author hits the nail on the head. Women in the workplace too often look for approval from others and when they don't do something right, apologize too quickly. Guys are naturally competitive and don't expect apologies. We're into using strengths and opportunities to the max as we move forward. If you are looking to others for approval, this book is for you. For the mental software to be your best and how to make the most of any personal or work situation, read Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self. When you use Optimal Thinking, you optimize yourself, others and your results regardless of your gender or your circumstances.
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Cathy Goodwin (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
We've had almost four decades of books on women and careers, so it's hard to offer something new. Much of what Frankel offers will seem familiar, yet she packages her advice in easy-to-take bullets. I recommend the book as a reminder - something to keep reading even when you think you've learned it all, because we all forget.
Although all these tips seem worthwhile, implementing them can be tricky. How, for instance, do we stop being naive? And some mistakes are not only common to both men and women but also have become embedded in unhealthy corporate cultures. Take breaks, she says, and don't pinch company pennies...yet some companies play the "I can work longer than you" game of staying late for "face time," while others will criticize employees who follower her suggestion to call a cab service rather than wait for a bus. And I suspect that, even now, a woman's expenses and time may be scrutinized more than a man's, in some environments.
Frankel's best tips relate to communications: avoid explaining, don't couh statements as questions, don't sit on one foot (I hadn't thought of this one!) and don't tilt your head unless you're inviting openness. I must admit I get irritated with women (AND some men!) who preface questions with, "This is a dumb question, but..." or some other preamble. Just ask! And the networking tips shouldn't be missed, especially a rare example of how networking can save a career.
I was unnerved by the advice to avoid blindly obeying your boss. You can, as she says, end up in legal trouble by obeying a n illegal order. However, if you're in this situation, there's not much you can do and you probably have to leave. Going to your boss's boss, as Frankel suggests, must be done with the greatest care and preferably another offer in hand. Most people still get ahead by making the boss look good and if you can't do this, you probably have to move.
Then again, there are few absolutes in careers or anything else. Women can do worse than to keep this book at home -- not in the office, where one should display only a calm, confident self.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office is a very practical book for any woman interested in moving ahead in her career and getting what she deserves. It is not targeted at any particular segment but instead it contains a lot of helpful, no-nonsense advice no matter where you are in your career, whether you work for a company or have your own business. Even the most accomplished and successful women will undoubtedly find in it some useful suggestions that they can implement to be all the more effective.
The book is organized in a very structured manner. It contains the 101 mistakes, grouped into seven categories:
- How You Play the Game
- How You Act
- How You Think
- How You Brand and Market Yourself
- How You Sound
- How You Look
- How You Respond
At the beginning of the book, you are given an opportunity to take a self-assessment to determine which of these areas you are the strongest in, and where you have opportunities for improvement. That way, you can jump directly to the section where you received the lowest score and begin working from there.
Each of the 101 mistakes is described with specific examples, and followed by a list of suggestions and action items for how you can improve in this particular area. As you go down the list, you can mark the items that you want to work on to make it easy to create an action plan for improvement.
Overall, the style of the book is very direct and frank. The author has many years of career counseling experience, and it shows. She does not mince words in showing you ways in which you sabotage yourself and your success, and gives specific and actionable steps to overcome these limitations. The author also provides a number of reference materials for "further reading", so that if you have an interest in doing further work in a particular area, you can go to these books for more detailed help and strategies.
While I was skeptical at first about how much value I would get out of this book, I was pleasantly surprised to find a few things that I had not considered before. It was also helpful to read a number of things that I already knew I wanted to improve. The specific action items following each mistake are a great way to go from knowing where your limitations are to taking immediate steps to improve them. Having finished the book, I found myself going back and taking notes on the items that I wanted to work on. I now have a fairly comprehensive list of things that I want to tackle, and I'll be able to focus on them one at a time.
Although I really appreciated the value provided by this book, I was also turned off by a few things. As a woman in my late twenties, I felt that a lot of the language in this book smacked of 70s-era feminism. The book also feeds on a lot of women's insecurities, as if being a woman in itself puts you at an unfair disadvantage. I believe that there is a lot to say for the power of femininity, and frankly, advice like "your hair should get increasingly shorter as you get older" is plain ludicrous. (According to this logic, women in their 90s would need to all but shave their heads.) This brings to mind the unflattering images of 80s-era professional manners with masculine haircuts and man-suits. In addition to the feminist message, the tone of the book often came across as somewhat "stuffy" and I had to double-check a couple of times that this book was actually published in the 21st century and not in 1987.
While the tone of the book prevented me from enjoying it as much as I could have (which is why I did not give it five stars), the advice it delivers is definitely sound and on target, and therefore I would recommend it to any woman interested in building a successful career in business.
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Ksuzy (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
I'm not in the corporate world, I'm in academics, but I still found these tips apply in the same way both to myself and to women I know.
For what it's trying to do, this is an excellent book. It gives you the possible mistake you may or may not be making, often gives you an example where it occurs, and then offers very specific tips on how to change it. It is actually very empowering. On these merits, the book must be considered a success.
It is also important to point out that some others reviewing this book appear to be reviewing it based upon criteria that it is not setting out to achieve. What the book is NOT meant to do is critique the business world. It is, perhaps, a very depressing situation is that women are often denigrated or not taken seriously simply because they are women and must communicate based on standards set by men (for example, women are socialized to have more of a tendency to apologize, to take responsibility for errors, to turn statements into questions, to ask opinions of the group, which are viewed as "mistakes" in the business world according to this book). If you simply want a book to help you navigate the professional world as it is, this is a great one. If you want to understand the social processes that contribute to creating the standards of professional world and how gender is part of that process, Kathleen Hall Jamison's The Double Bind is a good book.
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Rolf Dobelli (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Author, coach and psychotherapist Lois P. Frankel explains how traditionally feminine behavior undermines women's career growth. She makes you feel as comfortable as possible while teaching you about "girlish" behavior that holds you back at work. As soon as she describes a problem, she jumps in with doable solutions, some easy, some quite challenging or time-consuming. Frankel shares case histories and offers many applicable techniques. She uses humor deftly and warns the gung-ho not to change everything at once. Now the caveats: Frankel does not grapple with the insoluble problem that women who behave in more forceful, unfeminine ways are often disliked and rejected, a maddening 'Catch 22' if you want to advance. She should warn that even smart tactics rarely help in a truly sexist workplace. She also needs to say that the wish to be liked isn't girlish, feminine or womanly; it is human. Contrary to platitude, other people can hurt and stigmatize you with their verbal abuse or harassment, no matter how strong you are. Still, although she hasn't unraveled every knot, Frankel comes a long way toward helping women diagnose - with a self-assessment checklist - and correct inadvertent mistakes that could be holding them back. We recommend her valuable counsel to women who want to become respected leaders.
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Anthony Trendl (editor, HungarianBookstore.com), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Men are men. Women are women. Right? The matter of gender is easy enough to establish, but in Lois P. Frankel's book, Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers we learn there are underlying mores and premises to follow if women want to be at the top of a company. These rules are unspoken, but Frankel demystifies the process by which some women hurt their success by playing into the cultural roles prescribed to them growing up.
Frankel presumes most women grew up in a home that oppresses women from growing up into full adults. What may have been true for 1954 is not as true today. However, her challenge is still with merit, and in 2004, it crosses the gender barrier. e men should be taking notes from Frankel. There are plenty of little boys among us who need to work as men.
Rosie the Riveter ads during WWII encouraged women into the workplace, but often as factory and shipyard works. There was no "Annie the Accountant" or "Sally the CEO" campaigns. Being all you can be means being more than you were as a child. Frankel helps show how women can be more than little girls in the office place, and garner success as a result.
It is important to note that as much as this is an important book for women who esteem to be seen as professional should read, men also should read it. Not every man has reached his potential, and some fall to the same problems, in a masculine variation, as do some women. Fear, exhibited through the lack of initiative and an overborne, unnecessary kindness, holds many people back.
Objective, straightforwardness is much of what Frankel asserts.
Being professional doesn't mean you need to convert into a stomping intimidator, but it does mean being firm, not wincing when rejection is forthcoming, and thinking about more than immediate relationships. It is about getting the job done well, in concert with others, but never becoming weak while doing it all. You have expertise. You have training. You have what it takes.
Although Frankel is a professional coach, her book itself shows a coach is not needed. You need to be in control of your career, without worrying about the next person. Retain your ethics, your integrity and your aplomb, but it is your job to lead the way through your professional life. No parents, no coach, no friends are responsible for this.
I fully recommend "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers"
by Lois P. Frankel. Follow it up with the classic Dale Carnegie book, How To Win Friends And Influence People, to learn the other side of the professional relationship balance.
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New York Times (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Ms. Frankel's book makes its debut today on the New York Times business best-seller list, in the No. 10 position. The book mixes equal parts support ("you can do it," is used often), empowerment ("Eleanor Roosevelt was right when she said, 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent' ") and advice on office politics... Does the advice work? It can't hurt. Using a more formal first name like Debra instead of a diminutive like Debbie may make people take you more seriously. After all, no one refers to Michael Dell as Mikey. It's always good advice to put your accomplishments in the best possible light and to ask for more responsibility and more money when appropriate.
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USA TODAY (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Do these 10 terms describe you? Professional, credible, assertive, capable, intelligent, direct, articulate, politically astute, self confident and self-marketer? Perfect you. Don't buy this book. If not, it's makeover time with Lois Frankel, an executive coach for Fortune 500 companies.
In Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, she's not talking about a new lipstick and eyeliner, although a new hairstyle isn't out of the question. This makeover means rethinking how you behave at work so you aren't passed over for promotions.
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