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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby (Paperback)
by Tracy Hogg with Melinda Blau
| Category:
Baby care, Parenting, Baby books |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
With comprehensive and practical information including advice on wake up routines, diapering routines, bathing routines, body language guides, and cry deciphering, this book is quite a manual for new moms. |
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Author: Tracy Hogg with Melinda Blau
Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition
Pub. in: January, 2002
ISBN: 0345440900
Pages: 304
Measurements: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
Origin of product: USA
Order code: BA00716
Other information: ISBN-13: 978-0345440907
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- Awards & Credential -
The New York Times Bestseller and Amazon.com's Best of 2001.
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- MSL Picks -
This book provides useful guidance on how to "tune in" to your particular baby and communicate with the baby to meet her needs. More specifically, the author advocates a pattern of Eat, Activity, Sleep, and You (parent time) as essential for a happy baby and happy parents.
Tracy Hogg makes it clear pretty quickly: her method is neither Attachment Parenting nor Schedulista. In fact, it's sure to turn off those parents who read parenting books (and these reviews) to compare them to their steadfast beliefs. But for the rest of us, there's about the same amount of stuff we can use as the in other leading books.
Hogg lays out a plan for a "gentle schedule:" nursing time, alert time, naptime, repeat. Great, though it didn't work for our baby - she'd spit up a lot if she didn't sleep after nursing. But the key insight from the book wasn't the order of things, but this straightforward nugget of advice: put the boob away and let your baby get some rest.
That's been a bit controversial among some in our families who interpret every sigh as a hunger cry, but we've learned to pay attention to our daughter's body language and to distinguish tired from bored from hungry. The point is that we're paying attention to her actions rather than to our overactive desire to be wondernurterers. Probably coincidentally, our baby is 50th percentile for weight and height.
Hogg is definitely on one side of the fence when it comes to parents affecting their baby's behavior. She makes a good case for the notion that you can provide some structure without being draconian. She presents parents' need for some autonomy as helpful, rather than a divine right or a cause for guilt and self-loathing. Bottom line: if you can get through the self-conscious English charm and off-target lists, it's worth a read.
This book has Audio CD (Audio Book) version.
Target readers:
First-time parents, grandparents, nursery nurses, pediatricians, therapists, caregivers, babycare consultants, anyone who plans to have a baby, and gift-givers to new parents.
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Tracy Hogg is a British-trained nurse, lactation educator and newborn consultant with over twenty years' experience. Her uncanny ability to understand and calm babies led to her nickname "the Baby Whisperer." In 1995, she founded Baby Technique, through which she consults with parents individually, and organizes and teaches group classes. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of two daughters. You can visit her Web site at www.babywhisperer.com.
Melinda Blau is an award-winning journalist specializing in family and health topics. She is the author of ten other books and countless magazine articles. The mother of two grown children, she lives in Northampton, Massachusetts.
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From Publisher
When Tracy Hogg's Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was first published, it soared onto bestseller lists across the country. Parents everywhere became "whisperers" to their newborns, amazed that they could actually communicate with their baby within weeks of their child's birth. Tracy gave parents what for some amounted to a miracle: the ability to understand their baby's every coo and cry so that they could tell immediately if the baby was hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. Tracy also dispelled the insidious myth that parents must go sleepless for the first year of a baby's life because a happy baby sleeps through the night. Now you too can benefit from Tracy's more than twenty years' experience. In this groundbreaking book, she shares simple, accessible programs in which you will learn:
- E.A.S.Y.: how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household's life easier and happier.
- S.L.O.W.: how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don't try to feed him when he really wants a nap).
- How to identify which type of baby yours is: Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy and then learn the best way to interact with that type.
- Tracy's Three Day Magic: how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby's) in just three days.
At the heart of Tracy's simple but profound message: treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself. Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.
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Loving the Baby You Gave Birth To
I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was
getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like
getting a cat.
- Anne Lamott in Operating Instructions
Oh My God, We Have a Baby!
No event in an adult's life equals both the joy and the terror of becoming a parent for the first time. Fortunately, it's the joy that carries on.
But in the beginning, insecurity and fear often take over. Alan, for example, a thirty-three-year-old graphic designer, vividly remembers the day he picked up his wife, Susan, from the hospital. Coincidentally, it was their fourth anniversary. Susan, a writer, age twenty-seven, had had a fairly easy labor and birth, and their beautiful blue-eyed baby, Aaron, nursed easily and rarely cried. By day two, Mum and Dad were eager to leave the hubbub of the hospital to start life as a family.
"I whistled as I walked down the hall toward her room," Alan recalls.
"Everything seemed perfect. Aaron had nursed right before I got there, and now he was sleeping in Susan's arms. It was just as I imagined it would be. We went down in the elevator, and the nurse let me wheel Susan out into the sunlight.
When I ran for the car door, I realized I'd forgotten to set up the infant seat. I swear it took me half an hour to get it in right. Finally, I gently slid Aaron in. He was such an angel. I helped Susan into the car, thanked the nurse for her patience, and then climbed
into the driver's seat.
"Suddenly, Aaron started making little noises from the backseat - not really crying, but sounds I didn't recall hearing in the hospital or maybe hadn't noticed. Susan looked at me, and I looked at her. 'Oh, Jesus!' I exclaimed. 'What do we do now?' "
Every parent I know has a what-now moment like Alan's. For some it comes
in the hospital; for others it arrives on the trip home, or even on the second or third day. There's so much going on - the physical recovery, the emotional impact, the reality of caring for a helpless infant. Few are prepared for the shock. Some new mothers admit, "I read all the books, but nothing prepared me." Others recall, "There was so much to think about. I cried a lot."
The first three to five days are often the most difficult because everything is new and daunting. Typically, I'm bombarded by queries from anxious parents: "How long should a feeding take?" "Why does she pull her legs up like that?" "Is this the right way to change him?" "Why is her poop that color?" And, of course, the most persistent question of all time: "Why is he crying?" Parents, particularly mums, often feel guilty because they think they're supposed to know everything. The mother of a one-month-old said to me, "I was so afraid I'd do something wrong, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to help me or tell me what to do."
The first thing I tell parents - and keep telling them - is to slooooooow down. It takes time to get to know your baby. It takes patience and a calm environment. It takes strength and stamina. It takes respect and kindness.
It takes responsibility and discipline. It takes attention and keen observation. It takes time and practice - a lot of doing it wrong before you get it right. And it takes listening to your own intuition.
Notice how often I repeat "it takes." In the beginning, there's a lot of "take" and very little "give" on your baby's part. The rewards and joys of parenting will be endless, I promise. But they won't happen in a day, darlings; rather, you'll see them over months and years. What's more, everyone's experience is different. As a mother in one of my groups, looking back on her first few days home, bserved, "I didn't know if I was doing things right - and, besides, everyone defines 'right' differently."
Also, every baby is different, which is why I tell my mums that their first job is to understand the baby they have, not the one they dreamed about during the past nine months. In this chapter, I'll help you figure out what you can expect from your baby. But first, a quick primer on your first few days at home.
Coming Home
Because I see myself as an advocate for the whole family, not just the new
baby, part of my job is to help parents gain perspective. I tell mums and dads right from the start: This won't last forever. You will calm down.
You will become more confident. You will be the best parent you can be. And at some point, believe it or not, your baby will sleep through the night. For now, though, you must lower your expectations. You'll have good days and not-so-good days; be prepared for both. Don't strive for perfection.
Homecoming Checklist
One of the reasons my babies do well is that everything is ready for them a month before the due date. The more prepared you are and the quieter it is in the beginning, the more time you'll have to observe your baby and to get to know him as the individual he is.
* Put sheets on the crib or bassinet.
* Set up the changing table. Have everything you need - wipes, diapers, cotton swabs, alcohol - in easy reach.
* Have baby's first wardrobe ready. Take everything out of the packages, remove any tags, and wash in a mild detergent that has no bleach.
* Stock your refrigerator and freezer. A week or two before you're due, make a lasagna, a shepherd's pie, soups, and other dishes that freeze well. Make sure you have all the staples on hand - milk, butter, eggs, cereal, pet food. You'll eat better and cheaper and avoid frantic trips to
the store.
* Don't take too much to the hospital. Remember, you'll have several extra
bags - and the baby - to bring home.
TIP: The more organized you are before you come home, the happier everyone will be afterward. And if you loosen the tops of bottles and tubes, open boxes, and take all new items out of their packages, you won't have to fiddle with such things with your new baby in hand! (See "Homecoming Checklist" at left.)
I usually need to remind mothers, "It's your first day home - the first you're away from the security of the hospital, where you get help, answers, and relief at the push of a button. Now you're on your own."
Of course, a mother is often happy to leave the hospital. The nurses may have been brusque or given her conflicting advice. And the frequent interruptions from hospital personnel and visitors probably made it impossible for her to rest. In any case, by the time most mums come home, they are usually either scared, confused, exhausted, or in pain - or maybe all of the above.
Therefore I advise a slow reentry. When you walk through the door, take a deep, centering breath. Keep it simple. (You'll be hearing that a lot from me.) Think of this as the beginning of a new adventure, and you and your partner as explorers. And by all means, be realistic: The postpartum period is difficult - a rocky terrain. All but a rare few stumble along the way. (More about Mum recuperating during the postpartum period in Chapter 7.)
Believe me, I know that the moment you get home, you'll probably feel overwhelmed. But if you follow my simple homecoming ritual, you're less likely to feel frantic. (Remember, though, this is just a quick orientation. Later on, as indicated, I go into greater detail.)
Start the dialogue by giving your baby a tour of the house. That's right, luv, a tour, as if you're the curator of a museum and she's a distinguished visitor. Remember what I told you about respect: You need to treat your little darling like a human being, as someone who can understand and feel. Granted, she speaks a language you may not yet understand, but it's nevertheless important to call her by name and to make every interaction a dialogue, not a lecture.
So walk around with her in your arms and show her where she's going to live. Talk with her. In a soft, gentle voice, explain each room: "Here's the kitchen. It's where Dad and I cook. This is the bathroom, where we take showers." And so on. You might feel silly. Many new parents are shy when they first start to have a dialogue with their baby. That's okay. Practice, and you'll be amazed at how easy it becomes. Just try to remember that this is a little human being in your arms, a person whose senses are alive, a tiny being who already knows your voice and even what you smell like... |
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| View all 14 comments |
A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
As a first time mom who had no experience with newborns, I was struggling with understanding what my baby wanted when he cried. I was on bed rest for the last six weeks of my pregnancy and was unable to attend parenting classes. After my son was born, I went searching for information on my own and ran into two schools of thought - attachment parenting and strictly scheduled (cry-it-out) parenting. I was not comfortable with either philosophy and found this book to be a great middle of the road. It helps us teach our son that he is part of our family unit and there is no prolonged crying involved. The EASY routine is a routine, not a schedule. There's a big difference.
I purchased the book when my son was 7 weeks old and put him on the EASY routine. I am so glad I did! I learned that my son was not hungry as often as I thought he was, but was suffering from horrible gas pains! Once I started to slow down, listen to his cries, and watch his body language I figured out that he was in pain. We switched formulas and our son is a very happy little boy.
I know that some people have issues with the information on breastfeeding, but I had already made the decision to bottle feed by the time I purchased the book. It may or may not be the best routine for breastfeeding moms. I also don't buy into the five "types" of babies, but I can see how it might be helpful for someone whose child fits one of the "molds."
If you are a new (or experienced) Mom and you feel helpless when your little one cries, I recommend that you take a look at this book. |
A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
I am a huge fan of Tracy's Eat-Activity-Sleep cycle. It helps you anticipate your baby's needs. How do you know if your baby is hungry, tired, just wants to suck...or maybe something else is wrong? EASY takes away a lot of the guesswork.
I struggled with my first child. I was attachment parenting and afraid that anything other than demand feeding and co-sleeping must be on the other side of the AP/cry-it-out dichotomy and therefore cruel, unnatural and potentially harmful to baby's psyche. But it's not all black and white (I know a lot of people could have figured that out on their own but I guess not me). My first son had to be nursed to sleep and would wake up if I tried to get out of bed. My second son goes to bed beautifully in his bassinet after a nurse-bath-lullaby routine. When he wakes up for his nighttime feed I just take him into bed with me. He naps well also. I cannot describe how great it is to be able to shower daily and take care of my older son and get my work done (I work at home).
The methods in this book really helped inspire my parenting strategy and keep me from feeling bad about not embracing every aspect of attachment parenting. I am much more whole and sane than I feel I would have been otherwise.
That said, there is some advice in here that I passed over completely, like not to co-sleep. I also feel that the "5 types of babies" thing is silly armchair psychology. And she says stuff like "babies like to look at lines because they look like they are moving" - I doubt there is any proof for that. But overall, it is a great book to have in your parenting toolbox - not a replacement for your own instincts! |
Kristen M. Galley (MSL quote), Shanghai, China
<2007-02-11 00:00>
I read this book while I was pregnant, and again when my son was born, and had a difficult time napping and getting off to sleep at night. It was a helpful guide, which is what ANY baby book should be, and it gave me some ideas on how to get my son to sleep on his own, without letting him cry (I do think the cry it out method is cruel) What Tracy advocates, and I wholeheartedly agree, is to GET TO KNOW YOUR BABY above all else. The EASY plan worked pretty well with my son, but I've adapted it a little; he doesn't always sleep in his crib for naps, as long as he is getting a healthy amount of sleep, we don't mind where he falls asleep. Also, I don't watch the clock, I watch HIM, and just try to anticipate his needs before he gets frantic(this is my problem with demand feeding... I don't like the idea of waiting until he is so hungry that he cries... why not just watch his cues and feed him while he's happy?) I don't understand people's complaint about the breastfeeding stuff. I am breastfeeding, but not on demand... my son has been going every 2-3 hours since birth. Sometimes, he gets hungry sooner, sometimes later, but I have the sense enough to just feed him, not just follow the 'orders' of a book. Come on, people... no book is going to give you a cure all to your baby's crying, sleeping and eating, you do have to use a little commom sense, and get to know this little person. At 5 weeks old, my baby is not sleeping through the night... and I don't need him to be just yet; he's well rested, happy, and gaining weight like a champ... all because I used Tracy's book, and my own instinct! |
S. Bishop (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-11 00:00>
This book has great guidelines and advice, teaching you to trust your judgement, watch your child and respect them. If you're looking for the Bible or Magic Pill for baby care - keep looking (and if you find it, tell someone). But using the general ideas and background principles helps so much and most importantly, gives you somewhere to start. I realize, that as the mother of a Touchy Angel and Angelic Spirit is already a lot better off than another mother of say, a Sensitive Grump (we prefer Sensitive to Touchy, but hey), but they're both so different and there are so many practical ideas and things to try. I have the great luck to live overseas and be able to afford childcare, and we have our child care providers read this. WE re-read it (especially the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers now) to reconnect with the basics on occasion. I did not find this book (or apparently read it to mean) militant schedules (in fact, I think she says to be flexible about it) or not advocate breast-feeding (which I did until 12 months for both children, adjusting the recommended solids and introductions accordingly) - but I also disagree with the idea that moms 'instinctively' know because goodness knows I didn't. We tried a few things (Babywise - too rigid, Attachment Parenting - too flexible), and this worked for us. I hope it does for you. |
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