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On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide (平装)
by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam
| Category:
Baby books, Baby care, Parenting |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
A controversial book with mixed reviews. The best practice is not to depend on any single philosophy of childcare and to find which works best for you out of a couple of resources. |
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AllReviews |
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K. Boegel (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I tried this with my first child and she was sleeping through the night by 3 months. She was an "easy" baby, so I thought it might have been a coincidence, but when baby #2 came along, I used this method again and had the same wonderful results. It's great- we have scheduled meal and sleep times and I can plan outings and my own activities instead of living on the edge and hoping for a moment of time to get things done.
My mother always said that your children are only as happy as your marriage: This system allowed my hubby and I to have some alone time and to get a good nights' sleep (very important when your trying to manage a household and two kids!)
I can't stress enough that, despite what some folks may initially think, this system does not encourge withholding feedings!! That is a myth! If Jr. is crying at an unscheduled time, feed him an ounce or two to tide him over and then pick up the next feeding at the scheduled time. You are not starving your baby!
Both of my kids are great sleepers- at naps and at bedtime. You don't realize how sleep affects a child until you've had one that is isn't sleeping enough: trust me, it ain't pretty! Food and love are not the only important factors needed to raise a healthy baby- kids need sleep to relax and recharge. I have recommended this book to many friends and they have all been amazed at how well it works!
In response to those people who believe that this methodology somehow borders on child abuse, I have to say that I vehemently disagree. The key to utilizing ANY book on child-rearing is to tailor the methods to fit your particular situation. I still cuddle and attend to my kids when they cry- they know that they are loved and that I will respond to their needs. This book does not disavow affection: it merely guides you to the right way to respond to your baby. Crying does not always signal hunger and shoving food at a child every time they cry is closer to child abuse if you ask me. For example: If I feed Jake every three hours and he cries sometime in between, it's safe to initially assume that hunger is not the cause. Therefore, I am forced to really listen to him to establish why he is crying. This means that I automatically learn how to interpret his cries- perhaps he is tired or has a wet diaper or is uncomfortable. My children are secure in the knowledge that they will be fed- they don't need to wonder if and when the next feeding is coming and that is the security they need from the start. It builds their trust and confidence in me.
And yes, children go through growth spurts and cluster feeding which require flexibility and understanding. Again, you are not withholding feedings! There are other books out there which agree that child-centered parenting is not the way to go. Parents are the adults and need to set boundaries and routines from the start and that is what this system begins to show you how to do. Young kids thrive on routine- it gives them stability and allows them to feel secure. This system does not advise "fitting your children into your life" as one review suggested. Rather it gives you an informed, structured way to live your life along with your children instead of allowing them to run rampant over your marriage and your mental and physical health.
Anyone with children knows that they are (or should be) the center of your life from Day One, but they do not need to completely take over. If you allow this to happen, you will end up with a self-centered, selfish child who will expect everyone to put his needs above everything else. And how, pray tell, can anyone possibly give love, affection and proper care to a child when you are sleep-deprived and living moment-to-moment? Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your child. |
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Ruthie Gray (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
New moms don't have time to read a long review so I will be brief! I read over 15 books when I was pregnant and none quite said what I was looking for. I wish I had come across this one. As with everything, we have to read information and apply it to what fits best in our life and style.
This book has the best philosophy regarding parenting - everything is PARENT directed, not CHILD directed. With that said, so will the information taken from this book or anything else you read.
Overall it brought together a schedule of feeding that makes sense and is practical for many happy days to come with my daughter. It provides long term benefits for a baby's metabolism and sleep habits and in the meantime brings sanity to both baby and parent!
Some of the philosophies I adjusted to what worked for us. (We are still using the pacifier to go to sleep with.) Overall, learning to sleep on their own and develop the ability to wind down is a trait I wish more people would instill in their children. It is a valuable life trait to have. Yes, some of the thoughts are old school, but again - on the parent directed philosophy - don't do those things then. My daughter has been sleeping through the night since 4 months old. This is especially good because we didn't apply this parenting style until she was 2 months old and she was premature, so that is excellent!
The overall ideals of the book will make your baby the happiest baby on the block! |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
After observing many parent friends and the sanity of their homes I decided Babywise was definitly worth reading. My friends with the happiest well adjusted and well behaved children use BabyWise. My friends who oppose Babywise and feel it is wrong or evil have never personally read the book from cover to cover but have only adopted the opinions of naysayers. Also, many of these have children sleeping in their beds between mom & dad until they are 4 years old, are cranky, needy chilren and live chaotic lives.
My husband and I read the book during my pregnancy and found it to be very balanced. We implemented the suggested guidelines with flexibility, as suggested, and we've had fantastic results. Our son has slept through the night in his own bed since 8 weeks. When we lay him down for naps or bedtime he goes right to sleep. When he wakes up he is full of smiles and giggles.
In the 8 months he's been alive we've flown with him 7 times and been on multiple road trips. Everyone we encounter says, "Wow, he is the happiest baby I've ever seen." and "Does he ever cry? He travels so well."
Through our travels and our business we've met many Docs and one child Psychologist whom have expressed the same compliments about our son. When I tell them we use BabyWise they often raise an eyebrow and express their disdane for this book and their opionion of it's rigidity. I recommended that they read it for themselves and not simply the opinions of naysayers. The proof is in the pudding.
Thank you Gary Ezzo for such a fantastic book! |
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B. Miller (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I strongly recommend new parents thoughtfully consider Baby Wise in developing your parenting style.
Now parents of a 5-month old, we used parent directed feeding (PDF from Baby Wise) from the day we left the hospital and have been pleased with the results. BabyWise claims that that the PDF method will often result in happy, well adjusted, satisfied, children that are pleasant to be around. We have found this to be the case.
My one gripe with the book is the lack of scientific, empirical studies on the PDF parenting style. Unfortunately, the book (and I) can only give anecdotal evidence of the merits of PDF based on personal experiences.
Born in the 25th percentile weight/height, our little one was on a predictable schedule within a week, consistently sleeping (7 hours) through the night within 7 weeks and has been sleeping 11 hours at night since 12 weeks. When in public, we often get comments that our baby "is so happy" and "content." We go out to eat several times a week - without more than smiles and laughs (we have only left a restaurant once - but were able to do so before he cried). We house-hunted 9 hours a day for a week (in and out of the car 10-15 times) and our real estate agent never heard the baby cry - no pacifier. We have been on five multi-hour plane trips without any more than a giggle and coo. One friend was reluctant to hold our baby because she said that "babies always cry when I hold them." Our little one was pleasant and smiley. Does our baby ever cry? Of course! He cries at least one time every day (usually during his predictable "fussy time" - a 45 minute stretch before bedtime.) When he does cry, diagnosing the problem is pretty simple with PDF (I'll let you read the book to find out how) - and I still haven't figured out how to differentiate types of crys as the hospital suggested. Just as indicated in Baby Wise, after being put to bed at 9pm, our little one wakes up at about 6:30am singing and cooing and goes back to sleep within 30 minutes. At 7:45 am, he wakes up again and greets us with a smile when we walk in the room. Our baby gained weight and height predictably throughout his first few months, moving into the 50th percentile weight/height at his last visit.
My sister and several of our friends have used Baby Wise with similar results.
Is Baby Wise for everyone? - Probably not. If you enjoy structure and organization and are accustomed to being on a regular schedule yourself, your parenting style will probably mesh nicely with Baby Wise. If you consider yourself a free spirit who enjoys responding to the unpredictability that life often brings, then you will probably find Baby Wise to be restrictive to your parenting style. In fact, we have friends who did not use Baby Wise and ended up with happy, pleasant children as well.
Does Baby Wise CAUSE babies to be pleasant and happy? I don't know, but it did work for us and I can only imagine how difficult parenthood would be for us without the principles explained in the book. |
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S. Anderson (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
This is the BEST baby book I've read. I would highly recommend it.
This book shows how your baby will naturally sleep through the night by following the simple routine of: baby eats, baby has awake time, and then baby sleeps. It's so simple. It's not any type of a strict routine. You read your baby's signals, but at the same time teach the baby to eat, play and sleep in blocks of time. Then your baby will naturally sleep through the night. It's that simple, and it has helped me soooo much.
When I had my first son, I had not heard of this book. I thought I was doing the best thing by demand feeding, co-sleeping etc. Unfortunately, that resulted in my son not being able to sleep through the night until he was one year old, eating multiple times at night, and needing someone to lie down next to him so he could get to sleep. What in the world was I thinking!! He could have been sleeping through the night in his crib by 3 months old. Instead, I was totally sleep deprived having to wake up throughout the night to feed him, give him a pacifier, or by simply being awakened by his constant restless sleeping.
I now have 4 month old TWINS, which both sleep through the night in their cribs. Life with twins (and now my first son is two) and using the BabyWise method is soooooo much easier than when I had my son and was using Attachment Parenting methods. Its amazing. I didn't read Babywise until the twins were about 8 weeks old. I was feeling stressed and had no structure for the babies. I was just trying to "get through the day." One of the babies would cry every 2 hours, and I kept thinking he must be hungry. Then I would feed him, but he wouldn't eat much and then he'd cry again 2 hours later. After reading the book, I learned exactly what the problem was: my son was tired, not hungry. He was waking up from his nap too early and needed to sleep longer.
I don't know what I would have done without this book. Now when one of my babies cry, I know exactly what the problem is. And actually they rarely ever cry. As the book explains, just like you and me, when babies get a good night sleep they feel refreshed and happy the next day. My babies are rarely EVER grumpy or fussy. I've had so many people act amazed at how content and happy they are. I then just explain to them the simple routine of eat-play-sleep from BabyWise.
Some people act like "the baby knows best," but they don't! They're just a baby. You as the parent need to help teach the baby how to sleep. If people claim their baby wasn't getting enough to eat, then they were not following the book. The book clearly teaches you if and when there is a problem. My babies are chunky, alert and happy. Now, when I read about parents demand feeding and co-sleeping, I just feel sorry for them because they're making life alot more difficult for themselves. Eventually they won't want their kids sleeping in bed with them anymore and then the little guys don't know how to go to sleep on their own. When my twins start yawning, I just lie them down in their cribs and they go to sleep. I don't have to "help" them get to sleep. And demand feeding... CRAZY. You're just teaching your baby to snack all day and night. Then the baby doesn't get a good sleep and so they wake up cranky and tired and want to sooth themselves by eating again. Its a bad cycle.
This book really is amazing. There are also other books in the series that target specific baby ages, as they get older. I would also recommend Baby Whisperer by Hogg, but only as a supplement to BabyWise. Baby Whisperer is not complete about the specifics of the eat-play-sleep routine.
Don't get mislead about some of the Ezzo bashing. Its ridiculous and has nothing to even do with the content of the book. I've noticed that alot of demand feeding parents don't like to be reminded that they or they're babies are not sleeping through the night! |
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Maria Martinez (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I don't understand why some people are so upset with the ideas on this book. There are tons of books out there that contradict each other on when and how often to feed your baby. The point is to use the advice as guidance and determine what works best for you baby. Why is it so crazy that moms might appreciate some sort of set feeding schedule as recommended on this book? Or any other book by that matter! I thought most pediatricians agreed on an approximate 3-hour feeding schedule. My child was already 5 weeks old when I came across this book, and I bought it because I thought it would be nice to get some advice on getting my baby to sleep through the night. I had never heard of it before; either good or bad reviews. I 'demand-fed' my son from birth and he alone established a 2 1/2 - 3 hour eating schedule, so the ideas on Babywise were not so out there for me. I decided to follow some things on this book and so far so good. I am yet to see if he will start sleeping through the night by week 7 or 9. It would be nice! Either way it is nice having some sort of determined schedule to follow instead of being a breastfeeding slave. I agree with the statement made by the book that the too frequent feedings leads a lot of moms to stop breastfeeding too soon. It is tiring not knowing when your child is going to wake up screaming for food, and even more tiring is when that happens every 2 hours day and night. |
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Megan Peters (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
This book was so helpful to myself and my daughter. My sister used it when she gave birth to triplets and recommended it for me when I got pregnant. We didn't try the method until our daughter was about 3 weeks old and it worked very well for us. She is ahead on all developmental milestones, and is one of the happiest little babies I've known. Everyone comments on how "lucky" we are to have such a great, happy, well-sleeping baby. Anyone who says this is child abuse or that the author is telling mothers to ignore their intuition has obviously not read the book. I also noticed most people who have claimed this method hurts your baby start their tirade by saying "I started reading this book and immediately realized it was horrible." Continue reading and you'll see this line that repeats throughout the book. If your baby is hungry, feed your baby. She's now 4 months, still exclusively breastfed and sleeping 10 hours at night. Certainly not abused and absolutely a happy, heathly little girl. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Babywise was recommended to us by our Pediatrician. While I did not follow this book to a "T", I followed it fairly closely and my baby was sleeping 8 hours a night at five weeks old and 12 hours a night by 8 weeks old. My baby did not starve or ever cry more than three to five minutes more than one or two times and I exclusively breast feed him until he was 10 months old. I never had a problem with my milk supply and he was and is perfectly healthy and well fed. He is now almost 2 years old and continues to be a fantastic sleeper and an extremely happy child. In the evening we read him three books and then he points to his crib and says "bed". We lay him in the bed wide awake and he waves and says, "Bye-bye". It is as easy as that!! His naps are just as easy. The key for us was always putting him in bed while he was still slightly awake.
My sister used more laxed style of parenting when it came to sleeping and scheduling. Her baby was much more fussy and did not get nearly enough sleep... nor did my sister. They were both exhausted and worn out. That style of parenting was just not working for her or her family. Once her baby was about nine months old and still not sleeping through the night, they applied the principles given in this book and within five days, she was sleeping 10 hours a night and has ever since. Now she seems to be much happier and better rested. My sister continued to breast feed her until she was almost 1 year old with no problems.
I have read both Ezzo's books and Dr. Sear's books and Ezzo's books just made more sense to me. I think Ezzo's style works better for a more scheduled/routine parent personality or someone who is craving more routine in their life. For someone that is more spontaneous or doesn't work well by the clock, it probably won't work. I recommend that you try reading a book from Ezzo and one from Dr. Sear's and then make an educated & informed choice on how to rear your own child.
I think that there is enough room in this world for more than one parenting style since there are many types of parents and many types of children. Instead of bashing the "other" style that didn't work for you, we should all be more open and accepting that what didn't work for you, may work for someone else. Many of the accusations I have heard made towards Ezzo's books sound as if the person making the accusations have never even read the books since they often miss quote or state information that is not even in the book. My stradegy was to read several books and then decide on which one seemed to match my instincts and Babywise was the choice for us. |
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C. Pitcher (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I can't believe how many people have written such negative feedback on this book. I feel like they have taken what the book says completely out of context! All this book suggests is to give your child a routine. It clearly states that you are not to follow a strict schedule, you and your child work together to develop a routine. You are not depriving your child of anything! I found this book to be very helpful and my child started sleeping through the night after 8 weeks and he was breastfed. My son has continually gained weight, he is healthy and has a great temperament. Of course he cries and when he does I have a system to try to figure it out and give me some piece of mind. I don't just sit there and ignore him while he cries and deprive him of love, thats just silly and the book doesn't suggest you do that.
As with any book, its based on general ideas, which means the information will vary with the infant. I had this unrealistic expectatation that if I followed this book perfectly then my child will do exactly what it says when it says to do it. Of course that was not the case, nor would it be with any of the books I read. Take what you can use and trust your instinct! I had so many people (including my husband) be very negative towards me for using this book and now they are all amazed at how well my boy is doing and how great he is during the day... works for me! |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
I am a new mom to a 5-month-old baby girl. When I was pregnant my best friend gave me a copy of Babywise after hearing so many people recommend it. Knowing I had nothing to lose by reading it, I decided to see what it was all about. What I took from it is keeping to a flexible (not rigid) schedule with babies will help form positive habits and behavior down the road, as well as helping them to sleep through the night. The "theory" is that baby eats, then has waketime, then naps. This is repeated in 2 1/2 to 3 hour cycles thru the day. This advice was even given to my by my pediatrician before I left the hospital. I feel every new mom has the right to choose what style is best - schedule vs. demand feedings - but I felt this one met in the middle. And it worked great for us.
I have breastfed exclusively with my daughter and I have not had any trouble with milk supply due to not feeding my daughter everytime she cries. To be honest, my daughter rarely even cries. She's very content and happy. I feel that because of her "schedule" I can better decipher her cries when the do occur. Cries don't always mean hunger. In our case, it usually means she's tired. Not only is the schedule great for her, but it's great for me too. It allows me to make plans ahead of time and run errands without wondering when I'd have to stop what I was doing and nurse my daughter while I was out somewhere.
Of course, is she seems hungrier "off schedule", then I just feed her. No big deal. Babies do have growth spurts or may get hungrier one day than another. And when we can't always stick to the schedule (out of town, grandparents visit, etc), again no big deal. We just work it the best we can. But I have found the consistency works for my daughter. She tends to get sleepy the same time everyday (makes it nice for putting her down for naps), as well as her bedtime. She's been a great sleeper and began sleeping through the night at about 10 weeks old. As for waking a sleeping newborn baby, our pediatrician advised up to do that too for the first few weeks. She said that because newborns sleep so much that they sometimes won't get the nutrition they should unless you wake them to feed. This wasn't a big deal for us either: I'd wake her, feed her and then she'd go back to sleep. We didn't really start working on a routine until about 2 weeks old.
I don't want to tell anyone this is the only way to do it. If demand feeding works best for you, then do it. But if you feel that might not be for you, I'd recommend this book. It's a good guideline, especially if you're a new mom and aren't sure how to go about it. I feel it's been very helpful for us and even recommended it to a friend of mine who has a newborn and having a tough time. I feel that it has helped in having a daughter that is very happy, healthy and secure. |
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