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People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (平装)
by Robert Bolton
| Category:
Business, Networking, Communication skills |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
[ Shop incentives ]
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| Stock:
In Stock |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
MSL Pointer Review:
Presents the essential interpersonal skills as identified by one of the top names in sales training to transform listeners into positive, assertive, inspired professionals.
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AllReviews |
1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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Shannon Gaw (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
People Skills is a primer on interacting with others. Bolton's premise is that our communication patterns are inherently faulty and he urges the reader adopt his framework to remedy. He presents - in order - listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, and collaborative problem solving skills, with each building upon the others. He blends keen insight into human nature, concepts of psychology and basic Judeo-Christian values into what appears to be a very effective methodology. The skills seem obvious, but in practice are rarely used, and in fact are rather uncomfortable when trying to start using.
I found Bolton's framework very valuable and thus far see its application can profoundly improve my own people skills in both a business and parental setting. Unfortunately, like most books of this type, the text is extremely verbose. Bolton possesses a style that is much less dry and wordy than many of his peers - in fact, I find it difficult to finish most of these types of books - but the ideas plus examples could have been distilled down to one-half the length of the 300 pages. The text is also very well referenced and footnoted, but - as a lay reader - I think the constant crediting other psychologists and philosophers confuse and muddy the message. This could be a book that one could return to periodically to refresh their skills, but its length will prevent the less diligent. I found myself taking detailed notes on each chapter for later referral; while a testament to the material, I wish the author had made it easier to digest.
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Grendahl (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
I have more books than I can count on all of my appendages regarding communication & relationships. I use them all, but this one book has pulled it all togther for me showing me that my problem really boils down to my not being 'assertive.' I grew up in a religous family and was taught that I must always take care of others before myself... that anger was bad, etc. I now 'see' it clearly for what it is and health is now coming back to my being. I've purchased two of these books and use one to loan out to others. If I thought it would do any good, I'd get one for each member of my family, but the saying holds true, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink." Too bad. |
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Mirty (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Bolton does a good job of teaching communication strategies. He identifies "high risk" responses -- words that put up barriers between people and lead to resentment and anger. He also discusses the art of reflective listening, reading body language, and, finally, assertiveness. He correctly states that being assertive will, on occasion, bring you into conflict with others. The book instructs you on how to deftly handle conflict and defensiveness. This is where the tough skills of listening and communicating come into play.
Bolton's writing style is steady and clear, but not especially lively. That makes the book somewhat of a chore to read, despite the good information contained therein. I would give it 5 stars for content alone, but 3 stars for presentation. Odd, in fact, that a book on communication fails to maintain an interesting tone.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
If the skills described in the book were truly applied in life, the world would be a much better place to live! What amazes me the most, is the author's ability to convey techniques as to how to handle difficult people and manage difficult situations: no manipulations are implied; only an earnest approach to ascertain the other person's feelings in order to overcome differencies and difficulties while establishing a positive relationship.
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Jun Wang (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Communication and people skill is always a challenge for me since I am an immigrant, with very different culture background from those living here for generations.
This book helps me to summarize what I have already realized but in pieces and enlightened me with what I still searching for.
I found this book this book by accident and it may change my life in a very possitive way.
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Matthew Gunia (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
Robert Bolton is the president of a company that teaches other business professionals how to communicate more effectively--specifically how to listen more effectively, how to be assertive, and how to do conflict management.
Bolton's communication skills stem from a basic premise: that people lead with their emotions and that facts are secondary. I think he hit the nail on the head with that hypothesis. When people are angry, sad, frustrated, happy, (you name it) and come to tell you about the event that made them feel that way, what they really want first is for you to understand the emotion. Then (and only then) can you start working on the facts.
The skills and models Bolton presents throughout the book, therefore, focus on helping the reader gain an emotinal understanding of others, then (once the other believes you understand his emotion) does Bolton give skills that deal with facts and figures.
His three main topics are reflective listening (saying back to the speaker what he just said so he knows you understand), assertiveness techniques (which lead with the emotion you're feeling), and skills to manage emotional conflicts.
In all, each of these skills is broken down and communicated effectively by the author. This reader especially appreciated the fact that Bolton broke each skill down into simple "bite-sized" formulas, encourages the reader to master the forumula, then encourages him to break away from the formula. Both the skills and the rationale are explained well.
This book present some concerns, though. Bolton readily admits that applying these skills will be awkward for both the reader and his speaking partners because people just don't tend to speak placing the focus on emotions. Second, Boltons does subscribe to an "I'm OK, You're OK" sort of worldview. While he wants his children to have a clean room and respectul appearance, he says that he never asserts himself to communicate these things because he doesn't want to impose his values on others. While I understand many subscribe to this idea, where is the line drawn? If it's immoral to express his distaste for a sloppy bedroom, is it similarly immoral to repremand an employee for a sloppy cubicle? When is it OK to have opinions and worldviews and when is it against the book's philosophy?
This book, although imperfect, is highly recommended. I've already employed some of the techniques and am seeing favorable results.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
This book is one of the best books on skills on human relationships that I have ever read. It is easy to understand and gives indepth advice on how to improve. The barriers in communication which are brought up in the book are so common to people which can only help by being aware of them. The style is easy going rather than academic! I do suggest doing some kind of counselling course before reading the book because some of the concepts are related to that area; the book has made me appreciate what really happens in human communication. The areas are well researched with quotes and personal experinces which give the book substance. Unlike some information that is recieved this book will deliver if the contents are properly practiced. It is a book that anyone can read time and time again with something to learn each reading.
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Blair Kasfeldt (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
In my education as a minister not much emphasis was placed upon interpersonal skills, yet meaningful human interaction composes a large part of a pastors day. "People Skills" are necessary skills if one is to survive (let alone thrive) in the parish - its a wonder why ministers receive so very little training in such relational skills.
I found this book to be a great help in apply pastoral care in an effective and compassionate way. Before theological truths can be spoken, feelings need to be understood, accepted and worked through. This book has helped me to really listen to my parishioners and to assert myself without falling into the trap of being aggressive or becoming resentful becuase of a false humility (submissive).
I highly recommend this book - it is easy to read (and grasp) and is highly practical.
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Beatrice Parker (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
People Skills is a book that I wish I had read as a young person starting out in life. The concepts and skills that are taught in this book have made a big difference in my life, even though I did not learn the skills until later in my career. (People Skills is the basis for a wonderful workshop - Leadership Communication Skills - that I attended as a mid-career adult.) I highly recommend this excellent book to anyone who is interested in improving relationships and increasing job performance.
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Diana Dickinson (MSL quote), USA
<2007-03-14 00:00>
From the time you are born until you reach the ultimate age, there is always some new form of communication that is used. From cooing at 2 months to blinking your eyes as an Alzheimer's patient, there is a deliverance of a speech unspoken at any age. Understanding the semantics behind verbal and non-verbal communication is a learned sentience that is observed as a universal response, whether accepted or not.
This book would be great to hand out to supervisors who think they know how to handle people but lack the skills to understand them. I believe this book is an excellent source to outlining and deepening skills to conspire the understanding of socialistic values. From grunting to expelling thoughts, there is a more constructive way to relaying thoughts or intentions. I really like how the book deals with the psychological aspects of communicating: knowing when, how, where, and what is said/done. How emotions do take the lead in situations, where the actual facts take a back seat. We are led by our emotions which do effect our productivity in relationships, work, the ability to listen, our health, our mentality, etc.
Some people may think it is a bit unrealistic to approach people the way Robert Bolton suggests; however, you have to get creative on using his techiques towards your own approach with issues. It is ideally a very informative review of learned behavior with a twist. It is not generalized or complicated to understand. Lack of communication effects many facets of our lives which can lead to different emotions that in turn lead to unhealthy minds and bodies. This would be a great book for a course study beginning in the 7th grade, where minds and bodies begin to ruminate. Remember, communication is a social behavior, not an inherited trait. It can be altered and changed.
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1 Total 1 pages 10 items |
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