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Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst (Paperback) (平装)
by Dr. Rick Brinkman, Dr. Rick Kirschner
| Category:
Business, Communication, Relationship |
| Market price: ¥ 198.00
MSL price:
¥ 168.00
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| Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
Bestselling guide shows readers how to successfully combat the difficult people who can ruin your day at work, in stores, on the street, by fax, phone, email and in cyberspace. |
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AllReviews |
1 Total 1 pages 8 items |
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Patrick Goonan (MSL quote), Canada
<2007-06-21 00:00>
This is an excellent, well-written, humorous and very practical book on dealing with difficult personalities. It is a quick read, but it is packed with useful information for dealing with different personality types at their worst.
In this book, the authors identify ten basic personalities that fall at different points between two dimensions: aggression-passivity and whether they are primarily task-oriented or people-oriented. It is a very simple model, but it is powerful and works well in a business environment.
There are many good stories, cartoons and boxes with summaries of how to handle various types of people in difficult situations. I have field-tested the ideas and they are sound and work well in practice.
Having insight into your own style is also worth being aware of. You will no doubt see yourself in these pages and more than likely will laugh out loud. More importantly, you will also raise your awareness so that you will have more choice in difficult situations.
This book should be on all managers shelves. It is a useful tool for deciphering the behavior of people much different from yourself. |
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
There are so many nut cases out there that we have to deal with;
This book describes EXACTLY what kind of person he or she is,
and their motives (equally important), and explains how to get them to listen to you. Although it pictures office situations, they
work for ANYONE (mothers-in-law, children,family members, etc.)
This book is treasure!
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Leslie Halpern (MSL quote) , USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
This book provides lots of useful advice for corporate communication that can be applied to personal lives as well. In particular, The Lens of Understanding is a highly valuable way to figure out people's motivations.
Instead of getting annoyed or perplexed by seemingly illogical behaviors, the authors suggest that we try to appreciate the intent of the irritating person: Are they seeking approval, attention, control, or perfection? I have found this system to be quite useful in everyday interactions.
The style of "Dealing With People You Can't Stand" is highly readable. Although the table of contents is illustrated and detailed, an index would have made the book even more accessible for researching and re-reading.
Leslie Halpern, author of "Reel Romance. The Lovers' Guide to the 100 Best Date Movies" and "Dreams on Film."
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Anne (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
This book has an excellent premise: the only way to deal with difficult people is to change the way you respond to them. Think about it. Do any of us ever do what we want to do all the time? Of course not. How many New Year's resolutions have we broken? Well, if we can't control our own behavior for our own good, how can we control someone else's especially when that person's obnoxious ways satisfies some perverse need? Some books on interpersonal conflict recommend that the reader resort to planning biting comebacks or simply ignoring the offending party. Rick and Rick offer more positive and healthier solutions (such as being more empathetic without being a punching bag) that if implemented will help the reader stay sane when under attack and eventually learn to stay above the fray. |
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Synaptic mogul (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
I saw an opportunity to apply a technique from this book on my 16 yr old for an event that was potentially a daily problem. It immediately worked and I have not had that problem with him since. Most of the interpersonal problems I see at home or in the work place are really kind of petty and involve
1) Misunderstanding the other person's motives
2) No effective plan to clear the air
The two Ricks offer us simple ways to address the issue. In the process, one gains insight into what the other person was thinking and how the affair got out of hand. In every case, the techniques involve confrontation, but controlled, minimally threatening, and supportive to the behavior-impaired party.
The secret to handling difficult people, as pointed out in the book, is a modification in your response to their behavior, i.e., the initial change has to be yours! In some cases, they can be totally disarmed quite easily by the right words.
Some of the "caricatured" examples in the Ricks' book are sick and would just require too much maintenance and/or a referral to a psychiatrist. Real crazies are not going to give up whatever wierd secondary gains they're getting from their idiotic methods. Even those, however, would be at least temporarily susceptible to the empathetic & helpful confrontational yet supportive techniques this book offers.
Since everyone usually possesses at least a few of these 10 difficult personality characteristics to some degree, it's hard not to see yourself in this book. This was appropriately humbling for me and I am finding myself to be more tolerant of others. What more can you ask of a self-help book?
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Mark Horstman (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
If you're a manager and have to deal with the day to day complaints and conflicts of a workplace, this is the best book I've read about it, without question.
I'm a leadership consultant and my firm spends a lot of time mediating conflicts and facilitating meetings where I have to get people on the same page. I have formal training in negotation, and mediation, and all that other more formal stuff. And a lot of it works. But the question I get asked over and over again is "what do I do when the conflict doesn't justify outside assistance? What about the DAY TO DAY conflicts - one of my people refuses to bend her schedule, another won't come in on time, another won't try to work with a sister department, my boss won't give me the resources I need." Well, this is that book. It lays out a simple concept of conflict (other people see things differently from you and therefore act differently), and then does something that SO FEW of the other books do: it tells you exactly what to say and how to say it. I have had my fill of books which tell me to "be nice" or "work towards a compromise". My response is, I know that, but how do I DO that? How do I keep the other person from popping off at me? THIS BOOK does that. It's simple - exactly right for line managers with DAY to DAY conflicts.
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Dennis Rossow (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
This is the finest book I've read on handling difficult people. As a training director for a large company, I've read many books on this subject, and trained interpersonal skills for years. This book is the CLEAREST, most practical book on the subject.
The ten types of difficult people are now in my vocabulary, and help me instantly size up a situation so I can handle it better. The authors detail practical steps to take with each style, making it easier to increase your confidence in difficult situations.
Most of all the authors encourage the reader to change his or her behavior, and the last chapter even offers the idea of the reader being a difficult person, in order to further reinforce the skills that this book teaches.
A real winner, and a book that has helped my career and my sanity.
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Eric Leberg (MSL quote), USA
<2007-06-21 00:00>
I'm a felony probation officer. I deal with difficult people. I applied the clear techniques provided with an offender described for years as "a real nasty guy...." by previous probation officers. The technique worked immediately, the man expressed appreciation saying "You are the first person in your department who ever understood me...I'll do exactly what you told me to do." I could relate scores of other times these techniques have helped over the years. Rick & Rick's set of tapes is also extremely helpful. You won't be sorry you learned this stuff.
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1 Total 1 pages 8 items |
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