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Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship (Paperback)
by Joshua Harris
| Category:
Teens, Romantic relationship, Christian |
| Market price: ¥ 148.00
MSL price:
¥ 138.00
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MSL Pointer Review:
Boy Meets Girl presents an inspiring, practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they may be serious about.
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Author: Joshua Harris
Publisher: Multnomah
Pub. in: July, 2005
ISBN: 1590521676
Pages: 256
Measurements: 8.2 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
Origin of product: USA
Order code: BC00315
Other information: ISBN-13: 978-1590521670
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- Awards & Credential -
Another best selling book follow up I kissed Dating Goodbye, the author goes to the next level and urges single Christians to pursue courtship, and ultimately marriage, thoughtfully and prayerfully. |
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- MSL Picks -
A few years ago Josh Harris told the world how he Kissed Dating Goodbye, and his ideas became a national movement. The thesis of his writing was that it was best to avoid dating until one was ready to make a marriage commitment, in order to protect your heart, mind, and body. Whether he intended it or not, however, the message that most seemed to take away from the book was that dating for Christians was a bad choice. Enter the year 2000, a newly married Josh Harris, and his new book, Boy Meets Girl, Say Hello To Courtship. I made it no secret that while I found positive points in I Kissed Dating Goodbye I had problems with much of what Harris concluded. Boy Meets Girl retains none of those problems.
First of all, Harris almost immediatly de-fuses the dating vs. courtship controversy. Taking a very balanced position, he states that what is important isn't whether you date or you court but rather the intentions and motivation of the person. It's about avoiding the extremes of legalism vs. lawlessness by realizing that if your heart is in the right place and you are living for God as you pursue marriage that the terms we ultimately choose will not matter because our actions should line up with our faith. Harris prefers the term courtship but as we see he and his wife dated throughout their relationship. For Harris the debate is un-constructive and missing the point.
Boy Meets Girl is a true sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It's for those who have realized that, okay, now that I'm ready to possibly pursue marriage in my life how should I go about doing it? The path Harris lays out defines his view of what Godly courtship and dating consists of. In a nutshell they are as follows. One: it takes much more than just intense feelings; wisdom balances out true romance. Two: God's guidance will always make the timing right. Three: courtship involves romance, but also friendship and fellowship. Four: Communication is key. Five: the roles of men and women are Biblically defined and need to be respected. Six: a healthy relationship requires support from, and respect for, your loved ones. Seven: it is possible to be in love and remain pure, and there is forgiveness from past failures. And finally, how to decide to take that final step towards marriage. If you've been beaten down by an approach to dating that just doesn't work the above approach might just be a God-send for you and your heart.
The message of this book is even-handed, God-centered, and practicle, and it's a fast and easy read for anyone. Harris' outline answers most of the questions left hanging from his last book, and give you a solid idea of how to travel that path towards marriage in a way that honors God and really works for you and the one you're with. I recommend Boy Meets Girl whole-heartedly. Whether you are newly arrived to this point in life or have been dealing with the dating scene for much of your life you will find a message here that hits home. No other book on this subject hits all the high points in such a balanced and applicable way. Five Stars.
(From quoting Michael Janke, USA)
Target readers:
Young single Christians
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washing-ton , D.C. , in Gaithersburg , Maryland , where he is senior pastor at Covenant Life Church . He speaks nationally and has led the New Attitude conferences for college students for six years. Joshua's bestselling books include I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, Not Even a Hint, and Stop Dating the Church. He and his wife, Shannon, have two children, Emma Grace and Joshua Quinn.
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From Publishers Weekly
In 1997, Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye became a phenomenon both in the publishing world and the Christian singles scene. Dating, Harris suggested, was an ungodly and unbiblical activity that Christians should reject in favor of a more old-fashioned, marriage-driven courtship. In this follow-up book, Harris guides Christians who are eager to say "I do" through the maze of finding a mate. His practical tips are set against the autobiographical backdrop of his own successful courtship with Shannon, now his wife of two years. Harris's words of wisdom aren't terribly innovative; they are the bread and butter of Christian relationship books claiming that good communication, sexual abstinence, friendship and fellowship are at least as important as romance. But lack of originality is the least of this book's problems. Harris's self-conscious attempts to be cute quickly grow tiresome (the Courtship Cop who "pulls over" a couple thinking about marriage too early in their relationship is only the most glaring example). Also, many readers who would otherwise find Harris's message compelling may be put off by the strict "God-given" gender roles he lauds in chapter 6: a man should initiate everything in a relationship, while "ladies" are supposed to "make room for him to lead." This slim sequel will no doubt delight Harris's thousands of devoted fans, but its banalities won't win any new devotees.
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Joshua Harris has grown in both wisdom and maturity between the time I Kissed Dating Goodbye was published and Boy Meets Girl was published. The first book had some valid points; you should be friends with someone before you date them, you should only date someone you might want to eventually marry, etc. However, much of the book provides very little insight for people who have always dated (or courted) from a Biblical perspective. I didn't enjoy reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye very much and got very little out of it. It seemed to me that the underlying message of the book was that if you "date" and don't "court" your wrong.However, Boy Meets Girl is different. Realizing the mistakes of his first book, Harris has written something more useful and practical. To begin with, Harris no longer makes a distinction between "dating" and "courting" as he did in IKDG. Secondly, Harris emphasizes that there is no set pattern, guidelines, or rules to follow to meet and date/court your future mate; God never does something the same way twice. Finally, and probably most importantly, Harris more clearly illustrates than he did in IKDG that as people we cannot look to another person to complete us. Husbands and wives can only complement each other, they can't complete each other, only Jesus can do that. The book also has a lot of useful hints and a few of the stories are quite amazing. A much better book than I Kissed Dating Goodbye .
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A reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Josh Harris' books (Boy Meets Girl and I Kissed Dating Goodbye) have truly been inspired by God. Evidence that they "work" is seen in Josh's love and devotion to Sharon (his wife). I pray to someday have a relationship as fulfilling as theirs. As a Christian girl who lost her virginity at 18, and became pregnant, married, divorced, and a single mother this year at age 19, I needed a new, fresh perspective on sex. It was obvious that the world's ideas were wrong... very wrong. The chapters on purity and overcoming past sins have helped me to forgive myself, and give me something to look forward to in the future. I wish I'd read these books in highschool. So far, I've bought 2 more copies of Boy Meets Girl, and 3 copies of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I'm lending them out to everyone i can think of, including my ex-husband. Buy the books, Read the books, and Share the books. Stop "dating" and experience the sheer joy of trusting in the Lord.
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Cade Foster (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
Mr. Harris is obviously a sincere Christian and a gifted writer. What impresses me the most about this book is his willingness to acknowledge that yes, people make mistakes, that no mistake is irredeemable in the eyes of God, and that life and the Lord often throws us curves we do not expect. In this respect, he's a welcome relief from what I call the Do It My Way writers such as Wendy Shalit and Danielle Crittenden. Most of his practical advice (restricting physical contact, being answerable to others, etc.) is excellent.
But... I still have a few issues with this book. I'm a 31-year-old Christian, happily married for the past decade to another Christian. As a 10-year "veteran" I'd like to say that Mr. Harris has a definite tendency to romanticize marriage. Yes, it is wonderful, but no matter how strong one's faith in God is, there will be in-law trouble, fights over who takes out the trash, issues with money, illness, and just about everything else. That's not to say that overcoming these problems is not one of life's greatest rewards--it is. But I wish he'd dealt a bit more with the practical issues that two people need to sort out before marriage. It's one thing to delay physical and emotional intimacy until you're ready for it, but if you get married to someone without discussing finances, caring for aging parents, child-rearing, and so forth, you are setting yourself up for a good deal more trouble than if you got carried away kissing. Also, and I suspect this is due to his youth, he doesn't seem to recognize that one needs a certain richness of life experience before one can be ready to choose a spouse. I'm not talking about sin here - just being open to the experiences God has to give us.
With this said, I must add that Mr. Harris displays an impressive amount of maturity for his age, and I wish him and his bride all the best.
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Randy Hofbauer (MSL quote), USA
<2007-02-12 00:00>
When I first got this book (I ordered it with its prequel, I Kissed Dating Goodbye from Amazon a week ago) I had already gone through IKDG and was not looking forward to it (see my review on I Kissed Dating Goodbye) because I got nothing out of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. My friends really loved it and everyone claimed it to be better than the first, so instead of just dropping it in my endless drawer of textbooks, I read it. I must say, I really liked this book, it was really weird. No one I know ever expected me to be reading something like this, they assume my maturity is strong enough by now anyway, but I needed something to tell me if I'm doing this whole waiting thing right. To my surprise, I wasn't put down when I read it. It had nothing but good things to say, and could only reassure if not teach. This book did not really teach me anything new (though it is very informative), but assured me of this: God can have me perfectly ready for a relationship in every way, ultimately, as Josh says, wisdom with romance, and still choose for me to remain single because before He brings the woman of my dreams into my life, He wants want me to fulfill His Will first. Until I do that and am fully content in Him and serving Him first and just letting go of worrying for her, then I can meet her. Hey, makes sense! Why do you think so many couples meet when they least expect it?
Courtship is so misunderstood nowadays, and I'm thankful that I got my head on straight this past year in college about it, that God gave me 2 years after a harsh breakup to train me. I read this book to test myself and now that I'm fully trained, all I need to accomplish is to be patient and grow content in Him.
This was always a hard thing for me to accept before, I haven't dated in 2 years and chose not to, but now all my friends are either courting, engaged or married. This does not make it easier, and when I got the book in the mail and saw this picture of an incredibly beautiful woman on the front cover, it didn't make me feel a whole lot sure of myself. I wanted that companion to share Christ with, but she just wasn't there. I had no choice, I couldn't feel worse, so I read it. Needless to say, the pages turn so fast that you forget about the cover. As I said before, I didn't learn anything new, but I've been trained by God for the past 2 years now to learn all I need to know for now. But this book made me feel so secure in being single that when that time does come around and that special girl is brought into my life, I can smile with joy and praise the Lord...along with her! If you're not sure about courtship, read this book, especially if you're out of highschool. And unlike the first book IKDG, I agreed with a whole lot more stuff in this one, it seems that Josh Harris has grown in the Lord quite a bit since the last book, and that makes me trust his teaching much more, because after the first book, I did lose much respect for him. It is an important book for late teens and early 20 somethings to read, and a blessing from God that it is available to us. What it won't teach you, it will only strengthen. THANKS JOSH!!!
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