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Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters (平装)
by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.
| Category:
Behavior, Life skills, Self-help, Self improvement, Motivation |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
MSL price:
¥ 148.00
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In Stock |
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MSL rating:
 Good for Gifts |
| MSL Pointer Review:
McGraw tells readers they must stop playing the victim and take responsibility for their lives. Should be required reading for anyone preparing for life, or confused or frustrated with life and its outcomes. |
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AllReviews |
1 2   | Total 2 pages 11 items |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
If you are one of those people who shy away from doing a truly in-depth analysis of why you perpetuate unproductive, dysfunctional behavior, this book is not for you. On the other hand, if you are willing and desire to explore the inner you and examine what motivates your behavior even if the truth is ugly, hateful and makes you want to run and hide, then this book may be helpful to you. My quest for self-improvement led me to read this book and ultimately discover the hidden payoffs for my counterproductive behavior. This book, in addition to Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, helped me to totally change my thought process and as a result I lost 89 pounds with no gym, trainer or surgery. Nothing but pure motivation propelled me to exercise everyday (at home with videotapes and outside-first walking, then running) and it was therapy for me. I've made a 180 degree turn from the negativity I used to manifest due to my pessimistic viewpoint of life. I've improved 100% body and mind and give the credit to both of the earlier mentioned books and to God, because I also prayed a lot. |
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Innerchi (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
In this book Dr Phil gives some strategies to improve your life. With his simple homespun wisdom he gives 10 life laws. He also uses great anecdotes and metaphors to make his points.
There are rules such as:
You create your own experiences
There is no reality only perception
Life rewards action
Life is managed, it is not cured
You can't change what you don't acknowledge
There is power in forgiveness
You got to name it before you can claim it
I acknowledge the truth of these statements, yet to change your life, I believe you have to acknowledge that all power comes from within, and adjust your internal perceptions in order to change your external reality, and break out of your limiting behavior. Otherwise, if you think the way you've always thought, you will get what you have always got.
Also, learn to master your emotions, or your emotions will master you. Energy flows where attention goes.
There are many great books on this subject. I recommend you read Cherie Carter Scott's If life is a game, these are the rules (see below). The Huna philosophy from Hawaii also has interesting concepts.
Rule One - You will receive a body. It's yours for life, so accept it, and learn to love it.
Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.
Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.
Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.
Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.
Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.
Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self- aware- ness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.
Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.
Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself. There is no reality, only perception.
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Heather Degeorge (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
A previous reviewer found this book to be common sense. Okay - a portion of it is. But how many people are using their common sense? Better yet, how many HAVE it? There were plenty of times where I was reading and thought "Well, yeah - of course" but when I looked at my life, that's not what I was actually DOING. As for checking out your thinking abilites at the gate - that may actually be what you need to effect change in your life. Perhaps you need to hand it over to someone else to "reprogram" some of your thought process in order to make significant changes in your life...? After all, if you're reading this book you obviously feel like there is something you could be doing better or different.
I found this book to be eye-opening. Occasionally harsh... occasionally wasn't what I wanted to hear... occasionally ticked me off. All things I needed to hear/read and accept to effect change in my life in ways that are different from what I've been doing. It is written very much in his boot-camp "get real" tone. He's not catering to your feelings, he's expecting you to pick up your bootstraps and move forward to make changes in your life. If you are up for that, then this is the book. Isn't the definition of stupidity something like "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the results to be different"? |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
To the stay at home mom who didn't find it useful, I'd like to say that it's not just for people who want to get ahead at work. You can be a stay at home mom and still have a purposeful life. Life isn't just about work, and I think that's one thing, among others, that I got out of this book. The whole concept of an authentic is probably not a new thing of Dr. Phil's, but the way he doesn't mollycoddle people is great. His strength is that he tells it to people straight, but if you've seen his shows, you also know that he cares very much about the people he talks to. That's why he doesn't mince words. The whole thing about taking responsibility for your own actions is something we Americans need to keep in mind more often! Now, maybe it's impossible to reduce life to ten little rules, , but I think the whole point is that if we have some major guidelines, the little decisions kind of take care of themselves. Think of the rules as way to check that you're on track in life. Now what exactly that means to you is also something you can explore in the process of reading his books. How many of us have truly sat down and thought about what we really want out of life? That's what I meant when I said it's not just for people wanting to get ahead at work. This book is definitely worth working through. |
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Margrett Kohut (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This is a very good book for people seeking self-help, and also for mental health professionals to work through with their clients in psychotherapy. His ten "life laws" in particular, are resoundingly true, in my opinion and will provide basic understanding of what approaches to life's problems work, and what doesn't work. As a professional therapist and academic writer, I find that these Life Laws are useful, well thought out, and presented in an interesting, non-psychobable manner. The only drawback is that Dr. McGraw's narcissism shows a little at times - he is very certain that he is "right" and other approaches to building self esteem and healthy interpersonal relationships are not valid. It was well worth the read. |
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Marc Meyer (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Life Strategies by Phillip C McGraw is a fine book about how to look at yourself. Dr. Phil gives you a realistic feeling about how to protray yourself with no nonsense ideas. He has you approach your important categories in life (ie; personal, professional, relationships, family and spiritual) by applying his ten "Laws of Life." By taking responsibility for your actions and realistically evaluating your strengths and weaknesses you can improve your quality of life. His book is a fine read and useful to anyone who wants to learn more about what is important to help them live better and reach their personal goals. I definitely would recommend this book, because its ideas are realistic and helped me focus on what is important in my day to day activities. |
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Drew (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I'll start by saying that I'm a guy, and I don't like his TV show. His TV show seems very feminine oriented and I find most of the guests incredibly annoying and obnoxious. Anyway, I got a free copy of this book so I decided to read it with an open mind.
The first chapter was bad. I don't know how many times he mentioned the word Oprah and made himself seem solely responsible for her winning that court case. But thankfully, it got better from there.
The life lessons are good. What stuck out for me was the attitude that you must take accountibility of everything that happens, even if you felt like you were a victim. Although I agree with this viewpoint, I don't accept it to his extreme. He marks a difference between accountiblity and blame, but he doesn't really say why. If I'm accountible for something, then it certainly seems like I should be to blame. What I find with this book, is that it goes for practical reality. If you're looking for some philosophical theory on what is right or wrong, you're looking for the wrong book. This is about practical solutions, so I give it some lee-way on what he says.
There are too many lists. The most obscure ones were the spirituality/god lists. He never talks about what it is, yet in one assignment, we're supposed to come up with 5 things that we want to improve on in spirituality. Okay.
I felt life law #4 was unecessary. "You cannot change what you do not acknowledge", but life law #10 is "You have to name it before you claim it." They both overlap, so he should have just got rid of #4 since it's not that good of a chapter. Maybe it wouldn't be as marketable to have 9 life laws.
What I liked about the book is that it's empowering to read it. There are some life laws where after you read it, it makes sense and you can build off of it. I like his emphasis on how we are where we are in life because of our choices. He doesn't believe in luck--which is extreme to me, but again this book is not philosophical but made to be practical. The last few chapters are also good, but a lot of work if you do the assignments.
His writing style is not the greatest, if it was better I'd think of giving it 5 stars. He goes briefly over things, and if you read it fast, you might not remember it. There should be summaries at the end of chapters, so it might be good to hilight or take notes as you go.
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Dr. Phil is a terrific guy who is happily married, successful in his career and life. He shows you how to make your life work with the use of solid principles. I agree with Dr. Phil that we must be realistic, and claim our lives, teach people how to treat us and that we must recognize that ultimately other people are responsible for their own choices. I strongly recommend Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self as a companion to this book. Optimal Thinking shows you how to be your best and make the most of every sitution. These books will change your life and you will never have to settle for second best again. |
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An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
This book has been very helpful to get myself on the right track. I liked how the author used examples of actual people to inspire and motivate us. If you know you need to change and you are looking for some direction as well as a little push in the back, this book is very helpful. The writing is powerful and motivating and the book includes many good practical suggestions about what to do to make this change happen. If you are more interested in understanding people and how our path to happiness is sometimes blocked or opened up, I'd highly recommend The Ever- Transcending Spirit by Toru Sato. It provides a comprehensive account of the theory behind all of this and explains many psychological things in a way that everyone can understand. Though not a motivation book, it is absolutely inspiring! |
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Covington (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
The subtitle hints of the practicality of this book: "Doing what works/Doing what matters." Time is a key element in the process of accomplishing what you set out to do. Dr. Phil writes, "I design plans to help get people what they want in life."
There are some places in the book that are...shall we say they reveal things about him that he didn't intend. For example he's quite obsequious toward Oprah. Perhaps because she catapulted him to fame. On the other hand he's condescending to other people. He doesn't realize he comes across this way in the book, quite obviously. His arrogance is alarmingly apparent in places.
But there are some insights to be found in spite of these weaknesses. For example, he encourages you to "focus on results, not intentions." Do people ever need to hear that! A similar insight is found when he points out people fear rejection, but need acceptance. That means life is a risk.
I particularly liked this sieze windows of opportunity discussion in chapter six. Again time is the relevant variable, i.e., certain opportunities have a limited window. Sieze the day or miss the chance forever.
To sum it up, I felt the book started weak but grew in substance. After the self-promotion and sense of having all the answers in the first few pages were over he developed some substantive thought on significant issues. |
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1 2 | Total 2 pages 11 items |
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