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Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents (Hardcover)
by Deborah D. Gray
Category:
Parenting, Adoption, Adoptive parents |
Market price: ¥ 258.00
MSL price:
¥ 228.00
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Stock:
Pre-order item, lead time 3-7 weeks upon payment [ COD term does not apply to pre-order items ] |
MSL rating:
Good for Gifts
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MSL Pointer Review:
A bible for for all adoptive parents.
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Author: Deborah D. Gray
Publisher: Perspectives Press
Pub. in: May, 2002
ISBN: 0944934293
Pages: 391
Measurements: 9.1 x 6.4 x 1.4 inches
Origin of product: USA
Order code: BA01450
Other information: 978-0944934296
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Rate this product:
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- MSL Picks -
Attaching to children who have been through the foster care or orphanage system is not an easy task. This book spelled out the concerns and offered solutions for real people. There is a focus on therapy that some people may resist, but I say it is worth it for the child's overall well-being. I think one of the most helpful points of the book involves being realistic in your expectations - you may love that kid before you even meet, but that kid may take awhile to be able to love you. Awhile may be counted in years. The time it takes is based on the child's needs and not yours. How to work through this so that you still feel satisfied being a parent is talked about in the book. As the adult, you need to continue to help the child learn to trust and attach. That is a wonderful gift to give to a child. I will use this book as a resource for many years to come.
(From quoting Julie Smith, USA)
Target readers:
All adoptive parents.
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Deborah Gray, is the founder of Nurturing Attachments. She is a clinical social worker specializing in the areas of attachment, grief, and trauma. She has spent over 15,000 hours in the last 15 years counseling children who were adopted. Her private practice philosophy is one of empowering parents with information and techniques so that their skills and styles are used in meeting the needs of their children. Her passion is to help children and their families to develop close, satisfying relationships.
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Gray, a clinical social worker specializing in attachment, grief and trauma, has penned a comprehensive guidebook for adoptive parents, taking an in-depth look at how children and families adjust. The author notes that many of today's adoptions involve older children who may have been abused or neglected, or who may have spent years in institutions or various foster situations; due to their past experiences these children may have difficulty attaching to their adoptive parents. Explaining that attachment forms the template for future adult relationships, Gray stresses how important it is for adoptive parents to be patient in forging this new bond. She advises creating a high structure/ high nurture environment for the child, and instructs parents to find out about their child's background. The book covers many issues, including cross-cultural and interracial adoption, religious concerns and other complications for attaching, such as ADHD and learning disabilities. Gray also includes a detailed exploration of developmental delays common in kids who have been adopted later in life. While the book is densely written, it will nevertheless be invaluable for adoptive parents. Gray compassionately helps readers form realistic expectations, while offering a myriad of suggestions for families and children striving to form lasting, loving relationships.
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Jill Lightner , USA
<2008-07-31 00:00>
Proper attachment is the most fundamental issue in a successful adoption, but what exactly does the term mean? Attaching in Adoption answers that question thoroughly, and it provides solutions to a variety of specific attachment problems. Along with technical explanations of challenges such as self-esteem, childhood grief, and limit-testing, the book includes a tremendous number of personal vignettes illustrating attachment-related situations. Parents who are convinced that only their child has ever behaved a certain way are sure to take comfort in these stories; not only do they include kids from all backgrounds and age groups, but each has an ultimately happy ending. The emotional health of the whole family is also paramount according to the book - with plenty of rest and "alone time," caregivers are more likely to be emotionally available when they are most needed.
Because Attaching in Adoption focuses on special needs, families who are coming together through foster programs, at later ages, or across cultural lines will find it especially helpful. Both psychologically detailed and straightforwardly helpful, it can be of equal benefit to counselors and parents alike. |
From a guest reviewer, USA
<2008-07-31 00:00>
This book is important for parents who adopt older children with attachment problems, or who have biological children with such problems. Some clinicians believe that the attachment formed to the mother or to some other consistently present person tends to endure and implies the formation of intra-organismic structures that won't go away even under the impact of adverse conditions. (See Ainsworth, Mary D. Salter. "Object Relations, Dependency, and Attachment: A Theoretical Review of the Infant-Mother Relationship." Child Development 40 (1969): 969-1025). If this is true, then parents who face this dilemma can learn with Deborah Gray's help to understand and validate their children's rage and grief, and then try to help them with the therapeutic techniques that in Gray's experience promote attachment and increase the likelihood of success during the course of therapy.
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From a guest reviewer, USA
<2008-07-31 00:00>
Attaching In Adoption: Practical Tools For Today's Parents by attachment therapist Deborah Gray is a solid, practical, informational resource and reference for adoptive parents, particularly those who must help a young child adapt and cope with trauma, grief, or anxiety. Filled with examples, case studies, research, and useful advice, Attaching in Adoption is an excellent primer adoptive or would-be adoptive parents and a highly recommended addition to adoption agency and community library collections. |
From a guest reviewer, USA
<2008-07-31 00:00>
This book should - no joke - be mandatory for anyone who intends to adopt. It's a heavy-duty, informative and educational book that offers advice, narratives, tips and ideas for helping create a strong and positive bond between adoptive parents and adoptive children. This is not a chipper "go you!" book - it's honest and contains information about some of the potential "ugly" parts of adoption in addition to the positive parts. |
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