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Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out (Paperback)
by Dr. Phil McGraw
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Self-help |
| Market price: ¥ 158.00
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¥ 148.00
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| MSL Pointer Review:
The author’s winning formula: knowing yourself and overcoming life’s struggles with a little effort and retraining your mind to right thinking. |
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Author: Dr. Phil McGraw
Publisher: Free Press; Reprint edition
Pub. in: May, 2003
ISBN: 0743227255
Pages: 336
Measurements: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
Origin of product: USA
Order code: BA00498
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- Awards & Credential -
The #1 New York Times Bestseller with more than 2,000,000 copies sold |
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- MSL Picks -
Dr. McGraw's work covers the dynamics of personal planning and know- ing oneself. He explains why it is crucial to identify life's goals and the pursuit of them. His chapter on the authentic self explains the importance of understanding motivations and reactions to external events-including the perceived expectations of others. He quotes Emerson:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
This statement attests to the importance of knowing the inner self and having the all-important internal dialogue frequently. A chapter on "defining moments" forces us to examine the bottom line effects of these events on our own concept of "the self".
A part of the book reviews alternatives in terms of choices presented, choices made, alternatives given up, the concept of self before and after making the choice, the long term residual effect of the choice, the distortion of the choice (if any) on your self image and your reaction to the critical choice.
The book forces us to take an internal inventory of many critical factors including appearance, work, outlook, competence, skills, abilities and worth. The five-step action plan provides a superstructure so that we can assess our abilities, evaluate learning history/experience, examine external factors, internal dialogue and the resolution of the authentic self.
Finally, the author deals with putting a plan of action to work and dealing with routine problem areas/challenges in executing the plan. Too often, we tend to avoid taking decisive action because of "analysis paralysis".
i.e. We spend so much time analyzing a choice that the opportunity to act constructively is gone before a definitive decision to act has been reached. Resultingly, many good opportunities are lost due to inaction or untimely action.
Analysis paralysis is a natural instinct arising from fear of the unknown or risk-taking. There can be no meaningful progress in a forward direction without taking calculated risks.
Most people do not have the level of organization and enforced
discipline outlined by the author. A beauty of this work is that the
author provides readers with an important framework to analyze
the inner self including goals, motivations, reactions, perceptions of the self and a whole host of factors which individuals are rarely conscious of in the conduct of everyday life. The work is a solid investment in the behavioral side of personal planning. Many of us spend time planning for the financial dimensions of life with little or no focus on the behavioral dimensions that motivate us to act as we do.
The work is a good investment in the area of personal growth, goal achievement and the dynamics of motivating factors which govern a multiplicity of behaviors and critical incidences. (From quoting Joseph Maresca, USA)
Target readers:
General readers
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Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., is best known to millions as "Dr. Phil" or "Dr. Tell It Like It Is" from The Oprah Winfrey Show and as the author of the bestselling books Life Strategies and Relationship Rescue. He is also the co-founder and president of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., a litigation consulting firm, and has been associated with some of the highest-profile litigation cases in the country. He has trained thousands of people in effective life skills seminars and is one of the most sought after public speakers. He lives in Texas with his wife and two sons.
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From the Publisher:
What if there is a You that has never seen the light of day, has never got to say, "Hey, what about me?"
What if there is a You that you have never even met and certainly never permitted to just be, without fear of judgment or condemnation?
What if you live your life on the sidelines in constant fear of failing to please those who forever seem to stand in judgment of you and your life?
What if you discovered that you had settled for what life has served up instead of what you really wanted and needed?
What if you really think and feel things you have never allowed to come out, and certainly never acted on?
What if your marriage is not at all what you really emotionally want and need, but you silently stay the course anyway, selling out your hope to be happy?
What if you are allowing days to turn into weeks and weeks to turn into months and months to turn into years, all adding up to a lifetime of being what some nameless, faceless world has assigned you to be?
If any of these "What ifs" are true in your life, then we need to talk, and through these pages, we will. First, I have some bad news, and I have some good news. The bad news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance; the good news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance. Now is the time to make the biggest choice of your life. Through Self Matters, I will help you do just that.
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| View all 10 comments |
Roberts (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Whatever the given human experience may be, I am convinced that what we invest in it will determine the nature and extent of the value we derive from it. That's certainly true of our relationships with others and especially true of the relationship we have with ourselves. Phillip McGraw is only the most recent of countless media celebrities such as Bishop Fulton Sheen, Esther Lederer ("Ann Landers"), Pauline Van Buren ("Abigail Van Buren"), Joyce Brothers, Ruth Westheimer, and Laura Schlessinger. My hunch (only a hunch) is that their staunchest admirers are those who have made the greatest effort to apply in their own lives what these popular psychologists have advocated. Second hunch (only a hunch): Many of those most critical of them are (at worst) envious of their fame whereas others are concerned that complicated problems will be trivialized by what they view as simplistic solutions.
McGraw may be the most controversial of them all because he seems to be (intentionally) the most confrontational of them all. This is the latest of several books he has written. In it, he insists that self-esteem really matters and explains why. That got me to thinking again about The Golden Rule. More specifically, about all of the recent inhumanities (other than acts of terrorism) which the media have publicized so extensively. It seems logical to me to assume that if people are consumed by self-loathing, they will be following The Golden Rule when they "do unto others" as they would have others "do unto them." Is not most dysfunctional behavior directly or indirectly related to self-esteem problems? Of course self matters! It matters a great deal. In many situations, it could quite literally determine matters of life or death.
In this volume, McGraw answers two questions of special importance to me. First, what must I do to increase my self-esteem and then sustain at the highest possible level? Also, how can I be most helpful to others who do not a high level of self-esteem? It would be a disservice to both McGraw and those who read this review to indicate what I think his answers are but I will say that the first answer places full responsibility on me...and on no one else. Period. No news there, you say? Not so fast. The book's subtitle is "Creating Your Life from the Inside Out." Easy to say. (I think he means Re-Creating" rather than "Creating.") Think about it. What will it take to get "inside"? He seems to ask: How much time and effort, concentration and determination, patience amidst frustration and discomfort are you willing to commit? More to the point, how serious ARE you?
Obviously, McGraw cannot make that journey for us. (No one can.) But he can certainly help to prepare us for what awaits. Hence the importance of three questions he asks his reader to answer. Thus far,
1. What have been the ten (10) most defining moments of your life?
2. What were the seven (7) most critical choices you have made to place you on your current path?
3. Who have been the five (5) most pivotal people in your life and how have they shaped you?
Try answering these three questions (with total honesty, of course) before you read the book. Then review your answers after you read the book. To reiterate, whether or not you buy and then read the book, the value you derive from this exercise will wholly depend on how much you invest in it. And that, McGraw insists, is also true of your life. |
An American reader (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I admire Dr. Phil and enjoyed this book, particularly the exercises. I certainly gained insight and understanding into why I do the things I do. Dr. Phil tells us about his own life and how he made mistakes so that you know he is as human as the rest of us. I read another book recently which I recommend you read with Self Matters called Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self. Optimal Thinking is a practical no-nonsense book which showed me how to be my best, bring out the best in other people and make the most of whatever comes my way (whether they be a rainy day, distressing feelings, malicious people or financial challenges etc.) Make sure you get a copy of each of these books. |
Honing (MSL quote), USA
<2007-01-09 00:00>
Negative reviews of this book almost made me not get it. I didn't want a book to "be mean to me" at a time in my life when I was feeling very delicate. I wasn't depressed, per se, but an overall malaise had overwhelmed me and that fact was pretty depressing. I just felt like my life was meaningless and not worth living; a drudgery.
So, despite all these negative reviews, I ordered this book and gave it a shot. As soon as I began reading it, I felt more relaxed, I found myself smiling - Dr. Phil shares his own stories with you as if to say: "It happens to everyone. You are not alone. Now that you know what it is, you can DO something about it."
Perhaps some people want a self-help book to solve their problems for them, and maybe this book requires too much effort on their parts. But - and perhaps this comes from being a proud southerner like Dr. Phil - when something is wrong, even with me, I want to fix it myself. This book doesn't "diagnose and treat" your problems, it helps you figure out what they are, when they happened, and inspires you to turn things around.
Again, perhaps I was too eager to find my "Authentic Self" when I picked up this book, but I didn't find it abrasive or insensitive at all. On the contrary, I felt like Dr. Phil was speaking only to me, and because my problems had once been his problems, he handled them with utmost understanding and care.
If you feel lost- like you aren't living a life you want, like you've gone too far down a path you no longer enjoy, like you aren't "you" anymore - I encourage you to read this book. It will help you find the "real you", and with that, peace of mind.
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Leung (MSL quote), Canada
<2007-01-09 00:00>
I really did not want to like this book. It was probably the tone of reading a couple of pages that set me off. It seemed as though the author was being too pushy, trying to convince the average individual that they had problems when they really didn't.
But I did have problems and that's why I continued to read. I have read practically all the famous self-help books out there and still hadn't experienced any significant changes in my life. This book in my opinion is like Psychocybernetics, where you are to go into your own past and dig deep to find out why you think the way you do and most importantly why its stopping you from achieving success. It is similar as I said but this book actually contains helpful exercises that Psychocybernetics does not. The homework is long but its well worth the insight you gain.
In short this books is probably the best packaged self-help book to date. The only flaw I find in it is that it is vague on how to tell about using your imagination/ visualization as a tool to help you excel in future endeavors, that is what Pyschocybernetics had that this book does not. It also lacks some good goals setting strategies but that's what Life Strategies is all about.
It certainly isn't the be all and end all of all self-help books and the material isn't exactly new. But IT IS the best packaged self-help book out there to date.
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